New Jersey Reunion: Round 1

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Jackie, Melissa, Margaret

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Teresa, Dolores, Jennifer

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Who will come out on top?

Teresa

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I was suuuuuper shocked that the first question right out of the gate was to Tre about Joe being deported. However, in classic Andy fashion, he told us we’d get into it all later, aka part three of the reunion.

What we didn’t have to wait for was Teresa going after Jackie. Teresa definitely made her point that Jackie wasn’t allowed to come for her because if you’re not with Teresa, (or “on the Teresa show”) then you’re against her. Tre drove this home be saying something about looking around the room, noticing that anyone who ever attacked Teresa was gone and off the show.

Margaret

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looked amazing, absolutely amazing! Her face, shoes, dress, earrings, EVERYTHING was “on point.”  Plus when going up against Jennifer (again), Margaret handed herself well. Girl earned her seat next to Andy.

Melissa

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can never do anything right, yet I agree with Jackie that Melissa has become the number one girl in this group (referring to when Jackie called her the Carrie). I think some of the other women can’t handle this … or maybe just one woman. I couldn’t believe Teresa said Melissa needed to be on the other couch, in referencing alliances. No longer am I confused about why Melissa is in so much trouble with Teresa at the reunion. Melissa didn’t agree with Tre on certain issues this season and in the end, it’s looking as if Melissa sided with those “against Teresa.”

Also, did Melissa call Teresa irrational??

Jennifer

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After hating Jennifer in the beginning of the season, to growing to like her by the finale, she was able to make me go back to hating her in just the first ten minutes of the reunion. She sounded so dumb talking about Oklahoma. Just because you’re a city person doesn’t mean you can hate hate hate on how or where others live. We already went through this already with Vicki Gunvalson.

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Speaking of hate, or maybe more of a dislike, I was shocked that Margaret v. Jennifer would be brought up so soon.  After reaching what I thought was a reasonable bit of closure to their disagreements during the season, at the reunion Jennifer went and called Marge Senior a “homewrecker.” Damn girl, say whatever you want about Margaret, but it’s an extremely low blow when you go insulting someone’s mother. Perhaps it even shows the kind of person you are …

Jackie

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“Took on Teresa and lived to tell about it.”

I will admit that after the picture of Jackie at Teresa’s book signing came out, it was hard for me to look at her the same way I had since the start of the season. I really liked Jackie from day one, but that picture made my thoughts shift to her having a possible agenda being on the show, a “I want to be famous” agenda. But stalker (??) I’m not so sure. Then again, maybe Jackie wants to be forever known as the one who took Teresa down … ???

Dolores

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I COMPLETELY forgot that Andy was the one to spill the beans to Dolores about Frank being disbarred. However, I ship Frelores hardcore. Based off what she said on the reunion though, she seems pretty serious about her boyfriend, David. Buuuut, I predict that on the next season Frank will be around just as often as he’s always been. 

Still to come

I’ll be back to recap once parts two & three have aired. I’m looking forward to hearing Joe’s thoughts on the Melissa/Teresa feud, plus the Danielle of it all! Until next time, don’t lose your mind, don’t flip any tables, and keep your lip liner tight like a baboon!

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“No Children, No Parents, No Husbands” — We Gotta Talk About Jersey!

Tequila, monkeys’ assholes, & broken glasses

Jersey is BACK! After many seasons of snoozeville, The Real Housewives of New Jersey has returned with the heat … and I’m not just talking about the weather in Mexico.

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Let’s begin with that first dinner in Cabo… 

I think it all starts with Jennifer drinking. Listen, do I blame her for getting white girl wasted in Mexico? Hell to the no … we’ve all been there. I gave myself a black eye once in Mexico when I slipped and my face broke my fall. However, Jennifer calling Teresa’s gift ugly (drunk or not) was inappropriate and rude.

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I also find it interesting that Margaret can say whatever she wants in response, fully sober, and yet for me, she’s never wrong. The obvious housewife response to Jennifer’s necklace attack is a returned below the belt comment. The Marg did what the show asks of her with the whole lip liner looks like a monkey’s asshole comment.

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And while I may be Team Margaret (& probably always will be), Jennifer’s response of “Yeah, a monkey’s asshole, that you f***ing sucked, probably!” will forever go down in housewives history along with

  • “Get off my jock”
  • “Who gon’ check me boo?”
  • “Jesus jugs”

and “Prostitution whore!” You can watch the women’s reaction to the whole argument here.

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Honestly, thank you ladies. It was amazing television.

But wait, we aren’t done …

The sun did come out eventually and tempers cooled off, yet, round two was coming. While the ladies did enjoy some pool and shopping time (who takes their Chanel bag out on the streets of Mexico?), at the second dinner (was it really only the second dinner?), Marg and Jennifer were back out at it again. I don’t even remember how it all got brought up, but in true housewife fashion, past comments never really die. The conversation turned to the remarks Jennifer had made about Margaret’s mother cheating with a married man, as Margaret did herself. The Marg fired back with comments about Jennifer’s husband sleeping in the pool house and having a girlfriend.

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Relive that here.

Anyone who thought Margaret was a terrible human for the comments she made at this dinner is so wrong because The Marg immediately apologized when Jennifer returned to the table (what, less than 10 minutes after making the mean comments), and told Jennifer she said them just to hurt her and there was no truth in the comments. This is honestly huge because apologies in the housewives’ world can take weeks, months, and even years to produce. Margaret admitted right away she was wrong.

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While it seemed the dust was finally settling in Cabo, a hurricane called Danielle Staub was brewing, and broken glass, threats, & fueled tempers would be left in her wake.

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If you haven’t caught on yet this season, please realize in New Jersey, you do not mention children, parents, or husbands in an argument. Danielle is so slimy, of course she brings up Margaret’s children (& even her grandchildren) in an argument that I’m not even sure where it started in the first place. (Can’t these ladies have one nice dinner on vacation?). Margaret being the queen of the trip she is, took Delores’s wine (because why waste her own drink) and threw it at Danielle. My favorite part of this whole scene was by the time everyone stood up and Danielle was ready to retaliate, Margaret was already walking up the stair, sashaying in that green dress of hers.

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“Had Danielle talked about my children, she’d have no teeth left.”

“Teresa, this one [points to Danielle] has you going in f***ing circles.”

The drama didn’t stop there because Melissa then got upset that someone broke or threw a glass at her (while she was pointing fingers at Danielle and Jennifer). This led to crazy-eyed Jennifer to break another glass, hold a shard of it at Melissa, and say something along the lines of “if I threw a glass at you, you’d know”

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Yeah … that man in the scene? That’s security.

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Who’s exhausted at this point and just wants to fly home to Jersey? On this week’s episode the girls did just that, and even appeared to eventually all make up: Teresa and Melissa, Teresa and Margaret, Jennifer and Dolores, Jennifer and Melissa. But where was Danielle?

The Danielle of It All …

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This shady bitch (in my opinion) is the sole cause of many arguments this season. You can “boo hoo” all you want about how horrible she was treated on social media regarding her behavior on the show, but honey, you signed up for all this.

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First, her treatment of Margaret and all the women at her wedding was absolutely atrocious. While she did apologize for it on WWHL with Andy, still not okay. After her wedding, she was still twisting words to show Margaret in a terrible light with the other ladies. And finally, at the explosive, glass shattering dinner in Mexico, Danielle was the one to bring up the Marg/Jennifer fight (which had already been squashed), and then wouldn’t let the conflict go by taking it to another level discussing Margaret’s kids.

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I have nothing even left to say about Snobielle Stupid Staub; we’ll let her run her mouth at the reunion. Speaking of the reunion, it sounds like it’s set to be explosive, AND it’s sooner than you think because next week is the RHONJ season finale.

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Overall, this season has redeemed New Jersey as queens in the housewives’ universe and I can not freaking wait for the next coming weeks as we wrap up it all up!

 

Housewives Updates … and Happy 100th post!

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I can not believe my silly little hobby has reached its one hundredth post! I would like to thank my husband for leaving me alone with the upstairs television to watch Bravo (or maybe he leaves me alone because I’m watching Bravo …?), Instagram & Twitter for allowing me to connect with other pop culture fans, as well as trash talk those celebs we don’t particularly like, all my friends who love the same shows I do and gossip about them with me (Mack = Housewives, B = Bachelor, Lyssie = Queer Eye), and anyone who chooses to read what I write or take an interest in it … and for all those who don’t? You’re missing out!

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Obviously, #100 had to be Bravo related because without Bravo, MHH wouldn’t exist … see below for my thoughts on everything Housewife related from this week. Don’t forget to view all 99 past posts by clicking up in the right hand corner. Follow me on IG and Twitter too! Happy reading and here’s to 100 more!

  • OC: I almost had to write up an entire post about psycho Shannon, however, I guess everything worked itself out between her and the ladies in Jamaica because she made up with everyone on last week’s episode. Gina, though, continues to keep that plot line going on tomorrow’s episode, stirring the friendship pot between Shannon & Tamra. Oh! And the reunion was recently filmed; looking forward to that!
  • Dallas: LeeAnne should not, should not, should not have used the word “alcoholic” but I don’t think I can ever be team D’Andra, no matter how in the wrong everyone else is. I also decided that Stephanie is my new housewife QUEEN  —> love love love her! Their reunion films soon too!
  • New Jersey: Season 9 starts this week. I’ve been so disappointed by the past few seasons of NJ, yet Andy says this season brings it all back to like, early season vibes … do we believe him? Guess we’ll find out Wednesday!
  • RHOA: Premiered tonight (yes, it’s on the dvr; will probs watch tomorrow before OC)! Congrats goes out to Kenya who gave birth to her first child … and a second congrats to Kenya because we don’t have to watch her this season! 😀
  • Beverly Hills: These ladies absolutely WON Halloween (Rinna as Erika Jayne?! DEAD!), so I’m very very pumped for them to return to my television, especially because there is going to be some maaaad drama with LVP I think! Pretty sure she won’t shoot with the ladies, or they’re currently not wanting to film with her!
  • Pump Rules: While they are technically not housewives (except for Lala, who I predict will soon transition to RHOB), did you see the trailer for the new season!? ANYONE AS EXCITED AS I AM?!?!?!?! If you missed the trailer, I posted it below. I’m ready to see how the Brittany/Jax proposal went down, see James’s robot girlfriend get shut down by Lala, see where Scheana has been (besides salty on Twitter), and finally see Stassi in a positive relationship (and Beau on my screen!) … oh, and see how things haven’t changed much for “That was so trashy” Kristen.

Hope you all have a wonderful, drama-free week! 

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