Weekly Bravo Recap

First Up: The Real Housewives of Atlanta

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Kenya comes back for one episode and stirs up a ton of drama?? Bring her back full time!! But before we get into the Kenya of it all, Porsha’s gender reveal party took place.  Between her awful hair and the fact that the set up was a disaster, it’s no wonder Porsha broke down. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a housewife event as busted as that one. And the poppers didn’t even work either; hers was blue, while everyone else’s was pink! HAHAHA! Sheesh … oh well, it looked like the party ended up being really fun. Congrats to Porsha and Dennis on their baby girl!

But now let’s get to the meat and potatoes of this finale: the return of  Kenya Moore.

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First, I love love love Cynthia, but the demographic of people drinking Seagrams (college girls) are probs not watching Bravo. I know this because I interviewed one a while ago: Interview with a Gen Z. Seagrams is also just gross, and as the women brought up, contains like no alcohol. However, if Cynthia partnering with Seagrams brings back Kenya and causes drama, I’m here for it.

I kind of see how Cynthia wouldn’t tell Nene that Kenya was attending her event because we all know how Nene would react. In fact, Nene probably would have stayed home. While it was strange for Kenya to get up front and center on the mic to make a toast, it seemed like everyone (*ahem* Porsha) but Nene was fine with her there.

It looks likes Nene’s issue with Kenya’s attendance wasn’t ending, it was exploding, seeing as the finale was extended 15 extra minutes, so Nene and Cynthia could have it out. Hearing the audio that Cynthia and Kandi were “on the same page” about not knowing Kenya was coming means they knew she was coming, or was it that they needed to be on the “same page” about the possibility of her coming? Regardless, go look at Nene’s social media; she had some words to say about her and Cynthia’s friendship. Here’s to looking so forward to next Sunday; be sure to stay turned for my recap of the Atlanta reunion once it’s aired entirely!

Next: Vanderpump Rules

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“Puke and rally, puke puke and rally!” Gah, is there anything better than a Vanderpump vacation to Mexico? Being pregnant and 30, I’ve forgotten what a s***show one can become when drunk … let’s examine, shall we?

Type A: Stassi — the drunk in which the world revolves around you, no one can tell you no, and where maybe you don’t want to get up and dance because you’re wearing a freaking maxi dress with Spanx (or you’re just too drunk).

Type B: Ariana — the type of drunk where you are making absolutely no sense to anyone around you, yet, in your brain you’re freaking Albert Einstein.

Type C: Beau — aka the crier. That scene with Stassi and him discussing their “issues” and how their pasts (well mainly Stassi’s past) affects their relationship …. at one point, my husband turned it me and said, “Oh my goshhhh their so drunk.”

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Most notable moments from the episode included: the fomo infomercial, Jax giving Stassi actual, solid advice, and everyone just getting along. If I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again … I could watch an entire season, sans drama, of just the group getting along. I love their crazy ass friendships, and I am waiting for the adoption papers to be signed so I can join!

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

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Am I the only one a little underwhelmed by the LVP/Kyle fight? Except for Kyle being honest/standing up to Lisa for once, and Lisa raising her voice more than normal, nothing really shocked me. That came at the end though, back to the beginning of the episode.

We’re on episode EIGHT of this season and yet we’re still discussing this Vanderpump dog issue: the opening scene was at the shelter, Teddi’s charity cycle event was to raise money for the shelter, we needed to know who leaked the story about Dorit’s dog from the shelter, let’s watch CNN at the shelter!

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However, “real friends show up” and that means go to lunch together after a cycle class. Who would have ever guessed that Denise would be the voice of reason in this whole saga, first questioning why LVP couldn’t make both events that day, then being the first person to ask Kyle if she’s ever known Lisa to leak a story to the press, and finally giving Dorit a press peptalk … a “presstalk!” At the same time, I enjoyed seeing the women band together against LVP (although I was totes shocked when Rinna called her “Lisa Vandertrump” later on in the episode, for realsies #notcool).

I felt like the entire episode went by so fast, and before I knew it I had ten minutes left to watch Kyle and Lisa argue. My only real thought watching was why would Lisa and Ken get beyond defensive if they did nothing wrong? I can see how Lisa would be hurt because the one person who always defends her is now questioning her, but after Adrienne and the surrogate, Camille and Taylor’s husband, Brandi and the suitcase magazines, Yolanda and the Munchhausen,  to this … what is Kyle supposed to think? When does Kyle actually get to probe Lisa? The time is now my friends, and I can’t wait to watch it all unfold in the next coming weeks!

Lastly: The Real Housewives of New York

… which, I decided to just watch as a fan this week, instead of blog. I promise to write a RHONY post soon, perhaps the Berkshires next week? For now, I am #TeamBrunette & #TeamSonjaMorgan so far this season!

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Keep following for more Bravo related content, celeb content, reality TV content, and more!!

“She Just Set You All Up” #RHOBH Recap

“Grief is a process nobody teaches you …” 

I’m trying really hard to have that be the theme of my post today, but all I can keep thinking is …

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Before we get into the Lucy Lucy Apple Juice (wtf) of it all, let’s start at the beginning of Season 9. It opened with a horrendous fight between Kyle and Lisa (and Ken). Honestly, I hate when Bravo does this because it lasts less than a minute, then switches to what, two months prior and Teddi’s new home? Ugh. Just start from Teddi’s house; why get me all worked up and excited for a blow up in the first place, to then take it away from me before it’s over?

I had originally planned to blog the premier episode, but I thought it was overrated and I walked away annoyed. I was annoyed by the Erika/Dorit friendship, I was annoyed watching Rinna work out with her daughters (and goats), I was annoyed Kyle was starting the same fight with Lisa from last year (“You like Dorit more than me”), and I was annoyed that LVP got any personal airtime because she basically has two shows and that’s beyond frustrating for me.

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Oh, and to top it all off, I am so not here for Denise Richards. Liiiike, what makes you cool enough to be the new housewife, marrying Charlie Sheen? Teddi saying, “#Hashtag Winning” to remind us all of it (as if the ladies don’t discuss it enough) was stupid, and to top it all off Richards can’t even dress correctly to roll with this group. Teddi is the hippie with the laid back style, remember? We don’t need Denise. UGH and if Rinna says one more thing about how she was an actress or how she knew so and so or was friends with so and so …

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Things are looking up though, which just goes to show you should never judge a housewives’ season based off the premier! While episode two was also a bit boring, in real life it brought us a Twitter feud we didn’t know we needed between Rinna, Harry Hamlin, and Nicolette Sheridan.

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Apparently, (which Rinna blabbed on the show) Nicolette Sheridan was married to Harry, went to a Michael Bolton concert one night, and that was the end of their marriage. Sheridan went to Twitter to say that wasn’t true.

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As Lisa was telling the story, the other women were all …

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yet Rinna was all …

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“Cheers to Michael Bolton”

Anything to stay relevant is Rinna’s way. Moving right along … let’s get to the Bahamas!

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To recover from her robbery, (anyone else not know she was robbed?) Dorit planned an early in the season trip for the women. If you follow my posts, you know I love me a good housewives’ trip and this one was no exception. Finally, the ladies came to provide some entertainment and many of my thoughts from the first episode shifted: Dorit isn’t that bad, the show is clearly not overrated, and LVP may still deserve sympathy for her brother’s death, but this season she is messy as hell.

I thought the Dog Gate of Season 9 was over and done with, but is any issue ever really solved with these ladies? It was so obvious LVP was pissed at Dorit because she could not stop making digs at her. I counted five during this episode (Not to mention how utterly ridiculous LVP was to Erika regarding the sympathy note … I can’t and I shan’t! #toaster … but for real, I’m not even getting into that because it was insanely dumb).

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I find it so so so SO hard to believe that Rinna didn’t know about the dog drama, but once she did know, man did she tell all she knew: “Guess who came to the table to play?”

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Once that dinner started, it couldn’t be stopped. I loved how Denise had no idea what was going on and Camille did her best to explain. I could go into it all, but I think the ladies said it best:

I had nothing to do with any of it.”

                              “It wouldn’t be out there if you didn’t want it out there.”

“She’s acting like she’s so confused why Dorit’s upset.”

                              “I would love to say I’m shocked, but I’m not.”

“I love Lisa, but that doesn’t mean I’m blind.”

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Again, I want to have sympathy for LVP because she’s going through an extremely hard time and as Rinana did say, we don’t really learn a proper way to grieve. But, at the end of the day … this was a set up. Guess we’ll find out more next week!

 

Housewives Updates … and Happy 100th post!

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I can not believe my silly little hobby has reached its one hundredth post! I would like to thank my husband for leaving me alone with the upstairs television to watch Bravo (or maybe he leaves me alone because I’m watching Bravo …?), Instagram & Twitter for allowing me to connect with other pop culture fans, as well as trash talk those celebs we don’t particularly like, all my friends who love the same shows I do and gossip about them with me (Mack = Housewives, B = Bachelor, Lyssie = Queer Eye), and anyone who chooses to read what I write or take an interest in it … and for all those who don’t? You’re missing out!

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Obviously, #100 had to be Bravo related because without Bravo, MHH wouldn’t exist … see below for my thoughts on everything Housewife related from this week. Don’t forget to view all 99 past posts by clicking up in the right hand corner. Follow me on IG and Twitter too! Happy reading and here’s to 100 more!

  • OC: I almost had to write up an entire post about psycho Shannon, however, I guess everything worked itself out between her and the ladies in Jamaica because she made up with everyone on last week’s episode. Gina, though, continues to keep that plot line going on tomorrow’s episode, stirring the friendship pot between Shannon & Tamra. Oh! And the reunion was recently filmed; looking forward to that!
  • Dallas: LeeAnne should not, should not, should not have used the word “alcoholic” but I don’t think I can ever be team D’Andra, no matter how in the wrong everyone else is. I also decided that Stephanie is my new housewife QUEEN  —> love love love her! Their reunion films soon too!
  • New Jersey: Season 9 starts this week. I’ve been so disappointed by the past few seasons of NJ, yet Andy says this season brings it all back to like, early season vibes … do we believe him? Guess we’ll find out Wednesday!
  • RHOA: Premiered tonight (yes, it’s on the dvr; will probs watch tomorrow before OC)! Congrats goes out to Kenya who gave birth to her first child … and a second congrats to Kenya because we don’t have to watch her this season! 😀
  • Beverly Hills: These ladies absolutely WON Halloween (Rinna as Erika Jayne?! DEAD!), so I’m very very pumped for them to return to my television, especially because there is going to be some maaaad drama with LVP I think! Pretty sure she won’t shoot with the ladies, or they’re currently not wanting to film with her!
  • Pump Rules: While they are technically not housewives (except for Lala, who I predict will soon transition to RHOB), did you see the trailer for the new season!? ANYONE AS EXCITED AS I AM?!?!?!?! If you missed the trailer, I posted it below. I’m ready to see how the Brittany/Jax proposal went down, see James’s robot girlfriend get shut down by Lala, see where Scheana has been (besides salty on Twitter), and finally see Stassi in a positive relationship (and Beau on my screen!) … oh, and see how things haven’t changed much for “That was so trashy” Kristen.

Hope you all have a wonderful, drama-free week! 

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Most Shocking Housewives Moments: Open the Bravo Vault!

The RHOC Season 13 trailer dropped yesterday and it got me thinking …

Through the years, what has been the most shocking Real Housewife moment for you? (Oh by the way, you can watch the OC trailer here!) Now I’m not talking story line that continued throughout multiple episodes, like Brooks’s fake cancer, Kim’s sobriety, or anything about Tom. I’m talking one moment. One moment where your jaw hit the floor, and it was hard to pick it back up.

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I came up with four moments that were unforgettable for me, plus a few honorable mentions. After reading, come find me on Twitter to discuss these moments and to discuss what more should be added.

The Wine Throw

In season 6 of the Real Housewives of Orange County, Tamra stunned viewers with the splash heard around the West Coast. Tensions had been rising between Tamra and Jeana, and if I remember correctly it was because Tamra felt Jeana was siding with Simon over Tamra & Simon’s recent separation, or that Jeana was speaking to the press about it. Regardless, we all knew Tamra was a loose cannon, but I think she had an reaction even she didn’t see coming.

You can tell the argument is escalating, especially after Tamra throws the cease and desist letter at Jeana. But then, that wine throw. Even watching it back now my jaw still drops; Briana’s reaction is priceless too! After this unforgettable OC moment, throwing wine (& wine glasses) became a Housewife staple!

The Leg Toss

One illustrious woman from the New York Housewife franchise is Aviva Drescher; I mean “CALM DOWN! TAKE A XANAX” wouldn’t be one of the best comebacks if not for Aviva starting the fight in the first place. But the most memorable Aviva scene wasn’t when she told the story of how she got her artificial leg, but when she took it off and THREW IT ACROSS THE ROOM!

“The only thing that is fake or artificial about me … is this!” She slams the prosthetic on the table and then throws it on the floor! Oh my gosh, that quote could not be any more iconic! I just hope she had her pedi done for that toss!

The Reunion Drag

On season 6 of the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion, Housewives fans got their first taste of physicality. We were teased and teased that something major would be happening on the reunion, but when the whole thing finally played out, it was IN SANE!

I am not one for physical violence ever, but even watching it back now, how can Kenya not see she provoked Porsha? Oh gosh and Andy yelling, “No, no, no!” over and over makes the whole thing even crazier!

The “Beast” Comment

Kim Richards is not afraid of a confrontation, but I think this by far has to be my favorite of hers. I know this was on a vacation but I don’t remember what city, what season, or what the ladies were even arguing about. What I do remember is the infamous quote from Kim.

I could watch this on an endless loop! If Kim using “beast” as an insult isn’t funny enough, Eileen’s “I’m so proper, did you just say that?” reaction makes it even better. I definitely think “beast” is going to go into my bag of insults next time I get heated with someone.

Honorable Mentions & Best Quotes

The Real Housewives franchises are a television staple, and will withstand time because they never cease to shock us. I know these are not the only lasting moments the ladies of Bravo have brought us. With that being said, I wanted to include a few more iconic moments, that even non-Housewife fans probably know about.

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Teresa’s table flip

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Sonja parties with John John

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The Countess falls in the bushes

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Brandi slaps Vanderpump

I feel comfortable using Housewife jargon in everyday life … and here are some of my favorites!

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Image result for dont call me honey gif  Image result for dont call me honey gifSometimes all I wish Bravo would do is take a cue from E! and play past seasons of the Housewives on a loop, in a similar fashion to how E! basically only airs Keeping Up With the Kardashians. I know many times you can catch Housewives marathons, but how nice would it be to know that any time in the day (minus the prime time spots), you could watch past seasons of RHOC, RHONY, RHOA, RHOBH, & RHONJ. Think how many more fans could be gained as well! There is just too much history for it not to be shown on continuation. Think about it Bravo, just think about it …

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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Tokyo & Drunk Dorit

“Everyone’s been nice …”

“Well isn’t that boring.”

Is this my first post about the Beverly Hills Housewives?! I went to check and it’s true! MHH has only covered New York, Dallas, & Orange County. Yay! I’m so excited to discuss Beverly Hills! Let’s dive in!

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So Tuesday’s episode, “Lights Out!” could basically be broken down into two parts: Rinna & Erika Jayne’s Tokyo trip, and Dorit’s diva moments, with Teddi’s stupid hike in the middle … (pause for a small rant)

Image result for teddi mellencamp working out Tell me one more time Teddi how skinny & muscular you are, plus how great your husband & kids are, and finally how wonderful your life is! AND! You’re going on and on about how you’re such a great mom for getting your kids out to be active?  They weren’t even active; you two pushed them in the stroller! UGH!

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Okay back to the episode. As I mentioned, there were basically two main parts to the episode, and that’s what will be covered here. First up, Rinna and Erika Jayne flying to Tokyo to follow Amelia & Delilah Hamlin’s modeling jobs.

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Honestly, I could give two shits about Rinna & EJ having a friendship; in fact, I am not here for it. I do not want EJ to support Rinna or be her friend. I feel like Rinna just wants to be on an EJ level … remember that yacht dance?!

Image result for lisa rinna yatch dance Gahhhh, the thirst is real if you are Rinna. She’s not only thirsty to be Erika Jayne, but she literally wants to be the next Kris Jenner (Kardashian? Someone look up what her current last name is please) … Rinna dropped two or three Kardashian references in the episode. Oh, and THEN Rinna says that “Women supporting women” comment, like she’s all about that life. Did. anyone. catch. her. trash. talking. the. ladies. while. recapping. season. one?!

Image result for the lies kandi gif LVP was on Watch What Happens Live this week and basically said that nice nice Rinna is not here to stay. Shocker. OH!! And what about her daughter’s comments regarding the Rinnavation book?!  Dis. Gust. Ing! I’m not even going to get into it because it’s so awkwardly disturbing.  You can read about it here.

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If there is one saving grace to Rinna, it’s that she knows how ridiculous she is (which tells me everything she does is intentional but I guess that could be debated). Rinna changed her Twitter profile picture to the cover of the bj book. In conclusion to it all, Erika Jayne, I just wish for you to be close friends with someone other than Rinna. She’s such a thirsty fame monster who will ride your coattails as hard as she can. But let’s move on. As mentioned above the second half of the episode was centered around Dorit’s diva behavior, starting with a photo shoot at LVP’s house.

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I was a little confused as to why Dorit became so flustered at the shoot … was it really because she didn’t want to use the magazine’s hair and makeup people? If so, such a bad bad look on you Dorit, especially when I and many others were enjoying you this season.

Image result for we were all rooting for you I get not liking photos of yourself; we’ve all been there, but just deal with it. It may not have been the best for you, but if Lisa and everyone else involved in the magazine liked it, deal girl.

Dorit kept the crazy going at Kyle’s dinner party. I think the power going out right before the party was a bad omen. Dorit couldn’t hold her tongue (at the party or in her confessionals) as to how hot it was and how she would suffer. But in any uncomfortable situation at a party do what we all do … drink! And drink Dorit did.

rhobh-recap-lights-out-dorit-kemsley On the show she’s seen drinking wine, but on WWHL, Vanderpump mentioned Dorit drinking quite a bit of tequila too. Dorit went after Camille (confused again; why go after sweet Camille?). We try to keep it PG (okay, PG-13 at best) here at MHH so for specifics as to what Dorit said click the link. Even PK had to shush her, as did Mauricio.

I first thought the Dorit thing was going to be some big blow-up fight instead of her just getting schwasted. While it was highly inappropriate, many other housewives have been on that level.

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Welcome to the club Dorit; just do better next time!

The Hills are alive this season!