I’m Currently Watching …

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Week 6 of maternity leave is in full effect. I love my baby & our time together! Besides his eating and pooping a lot, the two of us spend our days doing what else?? Watching & discussing television. His current favorites include …

Big Brother

I always root for an underdog, so I am wanting either Nicole or Cliff to come away as the winner. I thought it was interesting that CBS aired Nicole reading her Head of Household letter; it’s as if they want her to win America’s Favorite Player, or the network just wants to show that it actually cast at least one genuine, good person?

Speaking of a not so genuine or good person, Michie is HOH currently. As I write this, I already know who won the POV and what that person plans to do with it. All I can say is I really hope this plan goes through; we’ll just have to see tonight!

Bachelor in Paradise

I can’t believe Caelynn left with Dean, I’m kind of digging Dylan & Hannah’s relationship, and please get Nicole & Clay off my screen. Other than that? Snooze fest.

This is the last week for paradise, right? Doesn’t DWTS start next week? Every year that I watch Paradise, I kind of feel like the final couple episodes are extremely boring, and I’m just not as into it. I’m ready for the reunion; that’s all I care about at this point.

Friends

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This is my first time sitting down to watch Friends from the beginning, in order. Usually I catch an episode here & there if nothing else is on. I know, I know, I know. How is that even possible? Everyone has seen and loves this show! It’s just one I never really got into before.

I decided to start watching it as a light- hearted, stress reliever during my baby’s newborn phase of late nights, cry fits, & my emotional overthinking of every little thing; come to find out, the show has helped so so much! I would literally prescribe it to anyone ever feeling anxious or sad. I’m so in love & invested after only three seasons that I purchased some of the PJs from the Friends line at Walmart. You can get yours at the link below 👇🏻 !!

Wal-Mart

Chandler is obviously my favorite, who’s yours?

Dave Chappell & Travis Scott

My husband and I recently watched Dave Chapelle’s Netflix stand up special. I cannot stress enough how not only hilarious, but accurate it is in today’s climate. However, Chapelle is definitely not PC in it. I would take this as a warning if you decide to watch, especially if you are one that is easily offended🙄.

I also started to watch the Travis Scott documentary, but I couldn’t finish it. Maybe I just don’t get him or his music? Honestly I just wanted to watch for the Kylie of it all. Instead, it seemed like mostly concert footage, and I wasn’t in the mood. It didn’t seem to tell much about his life or background or anything; maybe I gave up too soon?

Football Sundays

Go Chiefs!!!

I’m also watching Potomac, Orange County, & Dallas Housewives, AND Keeping Up, all of which are not disappointing, but rather are seeeeeerving up entertainment!

Come find me on Twitter @myhollywoodh to follow my thoughts on all things Bravo & more😘

Bachelor in Paradise: Too Much?

Yeeeeah … it may be too much!

Guys, I don’t even know where to begin on recapping the premier episodes of this summer’s Bachelor in Paradise. I first considered not even watching because two hours, twice a week is a pretty major commitment. However, I realized I don’t have to watch live, and I’m learning that life with a newborn doesn’t allow for live watching/tweeting anyway (Reality Check!!!), yet life with a newborn does allow for major TV time (on his schedule though). However, I provided a list below of some of my favorite Twitter & Instagram accounts to follow for all things Bachelor Nation (for when I’m behind); check them out!!

@BachelorBob_   @AshWatchingTV     @kellykeegs       @guyswatchbchlor

@JRodgersHair   @DrunkDolphinGal  @RealitySteve    @Bach_ShitCray

@ClaireEFallon    @bachbrack              @bachelorburnbk

IG: Broses Before Roses, I Will Not Accept Your Rose (Janae), & Rose Buds 🌹🌹🌹🌹

What happens in Mexico (& at Stagecoach), doesn’t stay in Mexico (or at Stagecoach) …

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, all that’s been talked about as far as Paradise has been Blake and his many women. It’s now left our televisions and made its way onto social media, with both Blake and Caelynn putting out “statements” and Blake releasing text conversations between the two.

Honestly, I’m really over it and sick of talking about it. Blake was a single dude who hooked up with two girls back to back, which is not morally cool, but also isn’t a crime. Apparently him and Caelynn had a longer relationship than is being reported, and that’s why she’s so upset; Blake is treating their hookup like a one time thing, when they were actually in more of a serious relationship prior …?? It’s annoying to me that she waited until Paradise to bring it up to him, and it’s also annoying to me that Blake is pursuing Hannah G, when she clearly has something with Dylan; that’s also after Blake took Tayshia out on a date!

I told you, it’s too much for me!!!

I always liked Blake, so it bums me out he was a f***boy this year and is now getting blasted for it, but it happens; dudes are dudes first, and it can really suck for the nice girls that fall for these losers. As far as Paradise,I’m excited that Jordan is coming back (love him!), and I’m curious as to why Mike is going to show up because I could have swore ABC would make him the Bachelor.

As I looked for this GIF, reports that he’s dating Demi Lovato came up … hmmm

I’m obviously going to continue to watch this season, four hours a week and all, but I don’t know how much recapping I’ll do. This week alone was too much to handle with Blake and his many women, let alone everyone else on Paradise! I guess we’ll just have to staaaaaay tunedddddddd!

“Almost Paradise … 🎼

 

Weekly Television Roundup

Sit and wait, sit and wait. That’s about all I seem to do these days because it’s any time now that my baby boy could arrive (Oh [Baby] Boy!). However, I have TV to keep me company, so I thought I’d share my thoughts on everything I watched this week.

PS: If you don’t have a baby coming, and you watched all these shows this week simply for enjoyment, zero judgement from me … because baby or not, I’d be right there with you 🙂

Sunday: Real Housewives of Potomac

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If you are a Housewife stan and you’re not watching Potomac, ummm what are you thinking? YOU ARE MISSING OUT! These ladies bring it each episode, but this week’s was beyoooooond as news broke that Ashley’s husband sexually assaulted a camera man. I feel bad for Ashley to have to watch this in current time since she just had a baby (last week I think?), and everything in her world should be celebrated right now, not shadowed by this scandal.

As for the other women, Gizelle  was and continues to be so so messy each episode. Even though she’s my favorite, when I think of the drama the ladies have with one another, it’s usually started or prompted by Gizelle. I’m really liking Monique this season. I love her commentary and insight on all the arguments the women have because a) being pregnant, she’s the sober, silent observer & b) she tends to see every side and will tell people when they are right or wrong (cough, Candiace, cough). Robin doesn’t really do anything for me on the show, Karen is old & terrible, and Candiance is the absolute WORST. She’s immature and unreasonable, plus she needs to mind her own business and keep her opinions to herself.

Monday: The Bachelorette

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It was Fantasy Suites this week for Alabama Hannah, and she had four guys to spend the night with instead of three. I was shocked, shocked I tell you, that Peter was the windmill date (“Know what? We did it a second time”), mainly just because he doesn’t really ooze sex appeal to me. However, he is my overall pick for Hannah; Peter is who I can picture her with the most.

I appreciated that Hannah felt she needed time with Tyler that didn’t revolve around intimacy, and that she didn’t want to have sex with him in the Fantasy Suite; physicality is not an issue for them. But, I don’t think it was necessary for her to make a big speech or a big deal about it at their dinner. Why couldn’t she just tell him that in the privacy of the Fantasy Suite? It was like she had to let America know she wasn’t planning on sleeping with him. Also …

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Jed sucks. Girlfriend or not, he sucks. His temper tantrum about being compared to Luke was unnecessary.  Speaking of unnecessary, why he told Hannah he loved her when a) he came on the show with a girlfriend, b) his family seemed surprised he brought Hannah home (for more on this see Take Back Home, Girl: Bachelorette Edition) and c) it seemed like he was using Luke as a way to leave & get back to said girlfriend. Or maybe not. Regardless of it all, Jed sucks.

But, speaking of Luke, his date was NUTS, wasn’t it? It felt like we were watching someone have a true epiphany right before our eyes, as Hannah found the light and realized how horrible Luke was/is. Not only that, I think she finally saw how easily he can manipulate (or attempt to), but also backtrack, so the person he’s talking to is never really sure what he’s trying to say (#gaslighting). Spoilers for next week’s Men Tell All claim it will basically be the reckoning of  Luke, and if you still are not convinced he’s a terrible human being, go check out the Twitter he just got, and how he attacked Hannah on it. Image result for roll eye emoji

Tuesday: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

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Do you like bon bons?”

So the first part of the Beverly Hills Reunion aired this week, and quite frankly, it was a bit all over the place. First, it started with a flashback to the Season 3 reunion, where Adrienne didn’t show up, and LVP gave her commentary on it, basically saying it was cowardly and wrong for Adrienne to not be there. HA! The hypocrisy of it all! While there was bit more on Vanderpump’s absence, the focus then shifted to Denise, her joining the show, and her life. I really like her, although I’d like to see her get a bit more feisty (which it looks like she might with Camille).

Speaking of Camille, she arrived to the reunion couch next. I think we’ll get more into the drama with her in the next two weeks (is it two or three parts?). The episode ended with the Lucy Lucy Apple Juice drama, and how Teddi got involved or was involved in it. Even though we’re all so sick of discussing this, I felt it was important to hear how Teddi was pulled in from the beginning. I had no idea it was because Dorit didn’t invite her to dinner after last year’s reunion (that was the reason right?). Regardless, Teddi’s feet were really held to the fire about how, yes, she was involved, and it was mainly Andy interrogating her. This will continue more next week I’m sure!

Wednesday: Southern Charm

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Colorado, here they come! While I enjoyed watching this week’s Southern Charm, it was also a little boring at the same time. I mostly am just ready for the reunion because I want everyone held accountable for their actions this season, with footage to back it up. What am I talking about? Well I want Whitney to have to answer for hooking up with Kathryn and then blatantly denying it. I want Craig to have to answer for all his crazy outbursts. I want Austen to have to answer for cheating on Madison (did he actually have a threesome in that ridiculously repeated video?? “MADISON!!”) and where they currently stand today. Finally, I want Cameran to have to answer for all her motherhood comments. As for this week’s episode, it was fine, mostly just them traveling. I’m excited to see more of their actual trip!

Thursday: RHONY Reunion

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I plan to recap the reunion in its entirety on a separate post, so you’ll just have to be a bit more patient on this one! However, part two did not disappoint!

In addition: Stranger Things & Younger

My husband and I finished binging the third season of Stranger Things this week. I won’t get too much into into because I don’t want to give away spoilers, but the ending absolutely wrecked me; I admit, I bawled my eyes out.

In my opinion, the season as a whole was the best yet. It was scarier, yet more intriguing, and the scenes between Steve, Robin, Dustin, and Erica were my favorite!

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I’m also currently trying to get caught up on Younger. Anyone watch? I won’t dive too much into it either (so if you don’t watch you can skip this section), but currently I’m in the middle of season five. First off, Direct TV and TV Land need to figure their shiz out because I can’t pull up the episodes on Demand, so I have to watch on my leeetle phone screen (#firstworldproblems). Liza needs to figure some things out as well. While I was always rooting for her and Charles, now that he knows her secret, he’s being a little butthead about it, so I just want Liza to quit Emperical, marry Josh, give him the baby he wants, plus deserves, and just live her best life with him! Also, Hillary Duff is the true queen of this show and the main reason I watch!

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Well I think that’s it!! Whew, we made it! See you all next week with a RHONY Reunion recap, a Queer Eye binge, and hopefully a baby!!

Thank you television, social media, and my husband for keeping me sane these last few weeks before Hollywood Hangover Baby arrives!

 

 

Take Back Home, Girl: Bachelorette Edition

“I’m falling for all four men in different ways; I don’t have clarity.”

Today we will not be discussing that Jed went into this season with a girlfriend, who has since come forward to air all of Jed’s dirty laundry.  We will also not be discussing how completely idiotic Luke P sounds whenever he opens his mouth. Finally, we won’t be discussing Hannah’s past actions or choices.

Instead, we’re here to recap and react to hometown dates only; in fact, my thoughts below were written straight during each commercial break

Peter’s Hometown
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Obviously he was going to take her flying; I’d have been very upset if he didn’t. It was pretty darn cute when he took her by the mansion and by his house! Peter is 100% my first choice for Hannah as a future partner, however, I’m not sure she feels the same way. He reminds me a bit of Blake from Becca’s season: he’s a good good dude, who has fallen hard, but will probs get his heart broken.

Peter’s family: so adorbs, just like him! It was a tad awkward at the beginning when she cut him off and explained to his family how she needed him to open up early on, making her sound like a bossy little B. In contrast, his family appeared more reserved, calm, and laid back. Further, they seemed like genuine, honest, real, nice people, all who Hannah could easily crush; please Hannah, don’t crush them.

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Tyler’s Hometown
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I’m so confused where Hannah gets the vibe that Tyler is not ready to commit; does she mean specifically a proposal? If you follow him on social media, (plus evidence from the show) he seems like one of the most down to earth, authentic dudes. Not being ready to commit (to me) is an excuse to call him immature, and Tyler does not seem that to me … at. all.

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Not everyone can be as mature as Tyler …

Oh my gosh, Tyler and his family brought on round two of tears! The bond between Tyler and his dad made me believe in the goodness of humanity and family, especially in a broken world … or this stupid world of Bachelor Nation and reality TV.  Again with Hannah questioning if Tyler was or is “ready” … girl, if you can’t see how real and true he is (AND READY), then let him go; let him be with someone who would fully appreciate everything he could offer.

 

Luke’s Hometown
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I’m so confused; was Luke preaching to people younger than him, like as a cautionary tale? Why was he telling this story and who are these people? Ohhh! I get it! These must be actors he paid to tell Hannah how great of a person he is because throughout their entire journey together no one has said a kind word about him. In all honesty though, Luke can have any belief or faith he wants; I respect him for it, however, I think he preys on Hannah’s beliefs to get closer to her. Sorry not sorry; he’s just not genuine.

Peter and Tyler’s families both made me cry; you could tell how much they miss not having their son around, you could tell how much they want their son to be happy and taken care of and loved. I saw none of this with Luke’s family.
(Shoot, they probably preferred him gone!)

 

Jed’s Hometown
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Obviously Jed took Hannah to a recording studio. Why wouldn’t he? He was soooo honest with her about how he initially came on the show for his music. But, she changed all that, so now because he was soooo honest, why can’t he have both his music and the girl? What makes me most upset about this date was, if I didn’t know he came into all of this with a girlfriend, I would’ve thought the song they wrote and the recording of it was sweet and real.

Then: Jed’s family.

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They really did look confused and not too thrilled to have Hannah there (maybe because they already knew Jed had a gf & didn’t expect him to make it to hometowns??). It was sad actually to watch because Hannah was so excited to be there. Perhaps, their disgust wasn’t with Hannah though, but with Jed because he’s a liar liar pants on fire! I mean his mom even toasted to honesty! I quote: “When you stick to your truth, it’s beneficial to everyone.”

You can’t make this up!

Or, could it be they just want Jed to focus on music? His sister did tell Hannah, “Him falling in love with you may not be a good thing…” Needless to say, the family Hannah was probably most looking forward to meeting, was a complete let down.

Rose Ceremony
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I had read a spoiler that Hannah took (or is taking) four men to the fantasy suite, so I knew what was coming once we got to this point in last night’s episode. The only shocking part was learning production keeps roses lying around in case Hannah needs an extra.

Obviously Peter and Tyler deserved the first two; their families compared to Luke’s and Jed’s were day and freaking night! The amount of love Peter and Tyler were surrounded by warmed my dark, cynical heart. You know who did not have a warm heart though? Jed. He was pissed he got the last rose. He felt (or still feels going into next week) that maybe Hannah is not his girl if she had to narrow her choice down between him and Luke.

Hmmm … this sounds to me like maybe at this point Jed’s still trying to find a way out the whole mess he created to get back to the girlfriend he left at home?? Guess we’ll just have to wait and seeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

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“Now that you’re telling me that, I remember …”

Raise your hand if you’re enjoying Hannah’s season …

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I just love her so much, plus I’m not hating the men, so I don’t mind writing another Bachelor related post (you can find my previous one here: 55 Thoughts From the Bachelorette Premiere).

Enough about the past though, let’s get into this week’s episode!

Jed’s One-on-One:

Sooo, my satellite was out the majority of this date due to a storm. Based off Twitter, Hannah took Jed to see the Boston Celtics, and Jed didn’t seem too impressed by the players, even though Twitter said they were well known??  #kindofaturnoff

There’s also this …

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My TV did return, right at the moment where Jed basically told Hannah he came on the show for it’s platform and to further his music career. While I (and Hannah seemed to) respect his honesty, I think Jed is officially out of my top four.

Group Date:

I agree with Hannah; you have got to be a MAN to survive this date, so bring it on! At the same time, I live in the Midwest and Rugby is not something we have around “these here parts.” What a freaking crazy sport!! I can not BELIEVE they don’t wear pads and that even if a player is down, the game keeps going.

Regardless. The date …

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… was extremely intense. The ambulance scene was totes overrated, however, the Luke on Luke drama was not. It completely looked like a cheap shot (given to Luke S from Luke P) based off the footage we were shown (& for once, it didn’t look edited).

Also, did you know that if you forget something, but someone tells you what happens, then you have the power to remember? Hm. Who knew?

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Ya learn something new everyday!

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, it was how Luke P reacted when called out on the lies he told regarding his altercation with Luke S later on the evening portion of the date. The guys ganging up on Luke P was my favorite part of the night (Hannah’s silver suit was my least).

Tyler’s One-on-One:

First, I understand completely why Hannah was upset going into the date; the previous evening and the actions of Luke P shook her. How many of you reading this have misjudged a person you were in a relationship with? She felt the strongest connection to someone who all the guys have an issue with; that has to be really tough to think your opinion of someone you really like may be (& probably is) wrong. However, Tyler was there to turn her frown upside down and melt the hearts of the audience in the process.

Second, all the single women watching Tyler’s date …

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Finally, Jake Owens! Bachelorette bringing out the big names for this date!!

Cocktail Party:

Awwww, Hannah and Peter are dating! I thought it was funny and cute when he asked her to be official, while still being okay she’s dating fourteen other men (hahaha). Annnd, that’s really all I took from her one-on-ones at the cocktail party … besides the Luke on Luke drama.

I thought Cam’s amputated leg/sick grandma/puppy story from last week was the most BS one guy could feed Hannah at a time, but Luke P took the cake. He continued to lie all through the party. His best of the night had to be the following …

Luke P to Hannah:  “Luke S is not here for you, but here to promote his tequila brand.”

The guys to Luke: “Do you believe that Luke S is here for the wrong reasons?”


Luke P: “No, Luke S is here for the right reasons! I’ll go tell Hannah that right now!”


The guys: “Yeah, make sure you tell you how wrong you were.”


Luke P to Hannah: “Luke S wanted me to come up here and tell you he’s here for the right reasons.”

Or something like that. Watching at home, once the clock hit 8:55, (central time for me)  we knew we wouldn’t be getting a rose ceremony until next week. I foresee a Luke v. Luke date in our future, or a Luke S departure. I don’t think Luke P will leave just yet; I’m standing firm that he’s the one who makes the inappropriate “sex before marriage” comments that piss Hannah off. Regardless, between not having to sit through Jed’s date, the Luke drama, and sweet & precious Tyler, this episode was not a bore!

One Final Thing:

Before we go, I must plug my absolute favorite Bachelor Nation podcast, Broses Before Roses.

Image result for broses before rosesIt’s four (I’m assuming middle aged?) friends who watch and discuss the current season of whatever Bachelor franchise is playing.

And. they. are. freaking. hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Forewarning … they don’t take it as seriously as we all do, so there are times they get things wrong. There are also times they go weeks, or months without recording (which is so annoying!!). But I promise you, if you’re any sort of Bachelor fan, stick with these guys. They are so unbelievably funny! I wish they would recap more shows; it wouldn’t even have to be realty TV related. I’d take a recap of anything from them (except maybe sports).

Screenshot 2019-06-04 at 4.09.02 PM.pngFingers crossed they read this (maybe even give MHH a shout out on their show??), and realize that if we must all sit through two hours of Luke P … then they least they could do is twist it into hilarious content for our listening pleasure!

But for now … here’s to finding out which Luke goes home next week! 

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Hopefully both!

 

 

55 Thoughts From the Bachelorette Premiere

Bachelorette is back!!

 … and this time it’s Hannah’s turn to find love!

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I decided that instead of recapping the premiere episode, I’d just keep track of my thoughts as they came to me while watching! Enjoy below and come find me on social media to share your thoughts too!

  • Omg I freaking love her!
  • I cried during ATFR when they showed Chris Harrison calling her and I’m crying this time too!
  • Ohh no! Not that awkward Colton toast again!
  • It may be silly, but I don’t think I’ve been this excited to watch the lead, rather than meet the “contestants.”  I’m PUMPED to see Hannah’s journey!

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  • Okay. The men. Hometown clips first.
  • This Tyler kid is cute … but um, not the best dancer …
  • THE PILOT IS CUTE!
  • It’s a no for me on the box guy, but undecided on the guy who loves his great grandmother.
  • Yes on the cute farm boy … no on the corporate man
  • Why do they keep calling her “The Bachelorette?!” Call her Hannah!
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Cue the limo intros! It’s looking like she has some hotties!! (These pictures did not do them justice!)

  • She looks amazing in that silver sequined dress!!
  • Garrett: very handsome, don’t love his hair
  • Mike: like the skinny red tie, however, I wouldn’t be able to remember all those, ahem, “C words!”
  • Jed: Cute! “I can’t wait to get to know your heart!”
  • Tyler C: he was from the beginning … the dancer, right? Umm … maybe I jumped the gun too early on him; not digging it
  • Dylan: don’t like the white jacket
  • Connor S: fence jumper … um no; too much cheese
  • Devin: suuuper cute! Ugh, the virgin comment, not here for it
  • John Paul Jones: no no no no no no no no NO!
  • Then comes giggle guy, tongue tied guy, other guys I missed because I was looking on Twitter
  •  Joe is the box guy, excuse me, “Box King” –> the WORST so far!
  • I LOVE to watch the guys inside the mansion judge the others as they arrive!

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  • Luke coming in with some douchy line; he was the one who found God in the shower, right? … your douchy line just proves you probs haven’t changed much my man.
  • I’m trying not to like Cam, but I’m smiling during his limo exit …
  • The others are calling Cam “Mr. Rose” … uh oh, villain vibes??
  • Matt Donald: so so so so so cute!! Standing out, but not in a cheesy way!
  • Wait, so there are two pilots? That’s not the same guy from before?
  • Ohhh there is the cute pilot! What’s his name again?
  • Rachel’s commercial!
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Go girl! Make that Zyrtec $$!!

  • Annnd we’re back! Hannah’s saying a prayer! Awe! She’s so wonderful … oh and her speech is great too!

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  • Here come the one-on-ones …
  • Ugh, I don’t want to like this Luke guy … but I do. Please be honest about your niece and actually wanting a wife; don’t just be giving Hannah a line!
  • Mike Jones: “Tell me more about that!” Awww he’s pretty awesome; hitting the real, real topics; please don’t be playing her either!
  • These games are stupid; I prefer the actual conversations!
  • The rapper with the rose is reeeeally feeling himself, but I’m glad he was a gentleman and asked if he could kiss her.
  • Okay … the singer can get! it! Jed? Jud? Jude?
  • So thaaaat’s why Demi is here! Glad she’s looking out for our girl!

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  • Whew! I was really worried the hot pilot had the gf! I predict now that he’s going to go far!
  • How does Demi know this is the guy?
  • Oh, because he’s a TOTAL DOUCHE!!
  • Wait, why would his girlfriend allow him to go on the show in the first place?!
  • Hannah Beast is about to be released!

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  • Her snarkiness is exactly how I would handle this too!
  • Eat him alive Hannah!!
  • Whoa whoa whoa … he’s comparing having a girlfriend to her dating Colton months back?! DOUCHEEEE!
  • Hannah ain’t here to play!!
  • Neither is Luke; he’s going in for a round two!
  • Wait, who is that guy?! Missed limo scene alert.
  • Connor S. is kind of cute; I think I remember him from the ATFR?
  • First Impression: Luke. We all know the track record with the Bachelorettes and the men they pick for the First Impression Rose; he better not be playing her!
  • Eeek whoa …. Luke. Down boy with that make out sesh!
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Time for the Rose Ceremony!

  •  Some stay & some go … all I care is THAT SHE SENT FARMER MATT DONALD HOME!!!! He’s the new Grocery Store Joe for sure!! Hopefully justice is served for him in Paradise!
  • Although … I am happy the box guy went home and the non-cute pilot left too!
  • Hahaha it’s morning as they walk out.
  • “To adventures!!”

Thanks for sticking out the two hour premiere with me! 

Follow me on IG & Twitter as we all track Hannah’s journey to find love!

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The Bachelor Finale & Thoughts on Hannah B.

How did we go from this …

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to this?Image result for bachelor finale  Image result for bachelor finale

Honestly, I don’t really care how it all went down; I’m just glad it’s over. I’m thrilled we don’t have to see Colton whine or discuss his virginity anymore; like, I’m so done with his season … and to me (unpopular opinion coming), it could not have ended worse.

First, let me say I didn’t even watch part one of the two part finale; we were in Dallas, TX for a Spring Break/”Babymoon” living the good life, searching for Dallas Housewives and attending Maverick basketball games. However, the hubs did get us home in time on Tuesday for the final final episode.

I didn’t go back and watch Monday’s show because I already knew what I missed. Bye Tayshia. Bye Hannah G. Go find Cassie.

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Although I am a little sad I missed Chris Harrison telling Colton “maybe she’s just not that into you.”

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However, Colton is not JGL, nooo, there is something he can do about it! He can go after his girl and basically stalk her until she commits to at least some sort of something with him. Thus leading to a very boring Tuesday night episode, where we already knew who the winner was going to be. We were just watching Colton and Cassie, what, date like regular people?

I guess there was the shock on Cassie’s face that he sent the other girls home, more begging from Colton, Cassie meeting his parents (who did not seem impressed) and their fantasy suite date (“Did they or didn’t they? Did they or didn’t they? Did they or didn’t they?”).

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It really seemed like she still may not fully go through with this, them being a couple and all. Was she only on the show originally to gain some IG fame, but got blindsided when Colton actually liked, excused me, loved her? Girl, what show did you think you were on? Her back and forth, wishy-washy attitude, combined with his pussy-ass begging, “don’t ever leave me” self was too much for me to handle, thus my pleasure that it’s finally over.

But look, I can’t always be so cynical; maybe it was the Air Supply song that really got to me, but in the end (thank goodness it’s the end) I’m happy for a happy couple. While they seem beyond annoying, and all of Colton’s current posts about her feel as if he’s never been in a true relationship …

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I applaud them for doing what we all want Bachelor couples to do … actually be in a real relationship, like us normal folk do when you’ve only know someone a few months. The pressure of an engagement on this show (and heaven forbid a wedding!) is too much, so props to them for sticking to what average humans do. And I wish them well, despite what you’ve read here or despite what I may say in the future, I really do hope it all works out!

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The Most Awkward Bachelorette in History??

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Okay look, I know everyone is like “Give her some PR and speech classes!” and “If she’s a pageant girl, shouldn’t she be able to talk?” But COME ON GUYS, like you could do better? I am here for Hannah Brown and all her awkward, beast mode, mispronounced words beauty.

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I love how authentic and true she is, and I think going through Colton’s season really humbled her, both with the Caelynn drama and getting her heart broken. Plus her guys’ photos (those to be on this season) were released earlier in the week, and while they all look terrible, don’t most Bach pictures look terrible in the beginning? I’m sure we’ll have some fiiiiine men when it all plays out.

I was a huge Hannah B. stan from the beginning, and while I feel justice needs to be served for the other Hannah (who didn’t even get a fantasy suite date!), I’m so so so looking forward to watching the next season of The Bachelorette … which is saying a lot, as this show can get too much for me most times.

Come find me on social media …

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to discuss all things Bachelor Nation!! I love making new friends! Until next time!

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Battle of the Beauty Queens — Bachelor Recap

“I feel like I’m in a Bachelor tornado …” 

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What I mean by that is … the show has been coming at me fast and I haven’t had time to really process it. I don’t know any of the girls’ names, I barely watch the show live or live tweet, and I have yet to decide how I feel about Colton. It’s moving too quickly to absorb … and plus, I find myself just not caring. I’d rather watch reruns of Vanderpump than a new episode of Bach.

BUT!!

I’m committed to you all and I know you’re waiting to hear my thoughts on Colton’s season!

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Colton as the Bachelor

I struggle with Colton because of his past with the show. It seems too convenient that he would go from meeting/hooking up with Tia, to being on Becca’s season, to Paradise back with Tia, to finally dump her in the end and become the next Bachelor (see: Colton is the Worst).

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I’m going to try really hard to not let those feelings bleed into his season, so I paid extra attention to Colton on this week’s episode to see if my feelings about him changed. Here is what I came up with:

  • He is insanely easy to read. You can tell which girls he really likes versus the girls the producers are telling him to  keep around.
  • He also just tells the girls, “I like you” so maybe that’s why he’s easy to read??
  • He’s emotional; I can’t tell if it’s the good amount in a partner or the whiny amount that would annoy me.
  • Yes, Colton works with kids and is a human teddy bear around them, but my cynical side thinks it’s another way for him to promote himself … I know I know, that makes me sound like a terrible person, but in the safe space of my computer I’m not afraid to admit it.
  •  I think Colton needs an older woman, not just because I love Elyse so much (see below) … but I like what she brings out in Colton. I like him with her … and that’s my first time (ever) saying I like him.

The Girls

My initial favorite was Miss Alabama Hannah, until that treacherous one-on-one from last week where girlfriend couldn’t even muster up a toast. Aren’t you a pageant girl? Can’t you make up some BS on a dime? Then this week she discussed Caelynn with Colton, and you just don’t talk about other girls with the main dude. Ever. While so much of this show is edit by edit, pieced together to create either a story line or drama, I truly don’t think Hannah has been edited that often; I think she’s really as insecure, not poised, and crazy as she appears. Guess I now have to pick a new favorite. Sighhh.

As far as any in the running for my new fav, I like the other Hannah, who also happens to be from Alabama? She got the first impression rose, and while I would like to say comes across genuine, I’ve clearly been burned by one Alabamahannah this season and we’re only three episodes in. So who knows.

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As mentioned, I la la la love Elyse! I would actually like to see her as the next Bachelorette, with guys in their late 20s – 30s vying for her … less douche canoes. I mean, if she doesn’t end up with Colton, because as said, I kind of like them together. However, nothing I want ever happens on this show, so moving right along.

For all holy entertainment purposes, I hope he KEEPS DEMI FOREVER!! “I don’t want to be another one of those yo ho ho’s …”

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I don’t think I’ll ever love Demi in the way that I loved Jordan (despite his ridiculous ways). I also don’t think I will ever root for Colton to propose to her, especially when she’s up against girls I like, buuuuut she’s so funny and entertaining, she can stay for a while longer.

I don’t know who all annoys me. Maybe Tracy? Is that her name? The one who Demi keeps antagonizing, and who claims to be a stylist, even though she can’t even dress herself.  I struggle with liking Onyeka too. Obviously I’m down for a big personality, and while I loved the “drowning in bitches” comment, she’s just too too much and annoying AF.

This Season

I usually like the craziness and cat fights in the early episodes, but for some reason, this time around, I’m ready to get down to like, the final five. I’m curious to see what Colton’s really looking for and how the finalists will interact with one another when it’s the end of the line (and what their families are like too!). Guess we’ll find out soon enough!

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Colton is the Worst

I just have to put it all out there … can ABC PLEASE stop casting thirsty men as the Bachelor? For the past two seasons (and Colton will be #3) this has been the case. Don’t worry, I’m here to lay out all the facts. I know this won’t change the already horrible decision that’s been made; at least I’ll feel better though and getting all my feelings out may lessen my chance of not watching.

Nick Viall

Even his name describes the kind of person he is. He was cast two seasons ago as the Bachelor, and it was my first time watching the show (I’m a Bach baby). If you didn’t watch his season and don’t already think he’s the worst, take into account he was on the Bachelorette twice, Paradise once, and then was cast as the Bachelor … and still didn’t find love. Nick was terrible during his time as the Bachelor, and least we not forget this horrible moment …

He went on to do Dancing with the Stars and be an all around douche … oh yeah, and the girl he proposed to on his season? They didn’t even make it a year.

Arie Luyendyk

Arie was cast on the eighth season of the Bachelorette, only to then be cast as the Bachelor last year. I didn’t watch his first run on the show and barely made it through his boring Bachelor run. However, it was his break-up with Becca … ON TV … that makes him the worst.

Cool man, go be happy with Lauren … but you knew what you were doing to this girl and to have it shown on TV was so lame.

Nick was thirsty after he made an appearance four times on the show, plus went on DWTS. Arie was thirsty after he knew he chose the wrong girl and decided to air the breakup on the show. No one could be worse than those two right?

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Wrong. Enter Colton, your new Bachelor. Let’s start at the beginning and run the timeline, shall we?

Exhibit A —

It’s 2016 and Colton thinks to himself, “How can I make myself a more famous NFL player?” I don’t know, how about date a gold medal Olympian? That’s what Colton did when he asked out Aly Raisman via social media. Don’t believe me? Click here for the story. Apparently their break-up was mutual, due to long distance. #whatever … she deserves better anyway.

Exhibit B —

Next, he hooks up with Tia from Arie’s season, while he’s being cast for The Bachelorette. Oh, how did the two of them start talking? Wouldn’t you know … social media! Sound familiar? Click here for that story. Come to find out though, Tia doesn’t become the Bachelorette, her friend Becca does. But that’s okay because Colton finds her attractive too (I think he has a thing for brunettes) and he goes on the show to date her.

Exhibit C —

Not only does the thirst monster get cast, he makes top 4. His virginity becomes a topic of interest, as does his relationship with Tia. Anything to keep a story line going and stay relevant, am I right? Alas though, it doesn’t work out between Colton and Becca; I’m sure with his new found fame, he’ll return home to run his charity. Wrong.

Exhibit D —

Colton goes to Paradise to reopen the can of worms that is him and Tia. Oh, and not only that … ABC has to bring Becca to Paradise to add more fuel to this lame fire. No Bachelor or Bachelorette has even attended Paradise right after his or her season ended; Becca is the first, and she’s only brought on to cause more drama with/for Colton. Becca apparently gives Colton the “closure” he needs, he makes Tia his girlfriend, only to dump her a few days later.

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And now the guy is cast as the next Bachelor. Ughhhh I really don’t know if I can stomach watching him talk with his lisp, or cry, or discuss his virginity /Tia any more. Think they’ll cast Tia as one of the girls? I’d maybe watch then. All in all I could not be more annoyed with this decision. Justice for Blake and here’s to seeing if I actually watch.

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Paradise Thoughts …

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Sooo I decided to watch Paradise tonight instead of the VMA’s; now that I’m in my thirties, I think I’m too old for them. Don’t believe me? Well then you can read my post from last year’s show right here: Video Music Awards: A Drinking Game.

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Honestly though, I’m not sure Paradise is much better. This is our third full night of these idiots, who are not on Paradise for love, but rather my entertainment. Ah well, it’s been a long day, so entertain me.

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  • Chris hasn’t changed one morsel since Becca’s season
  • “It’s time for someone to be a man; it’s time for someone to be a women; and it’s time for people to start defining what they want” –Jordan about Tia/Colton …. ya’ll, I’m telling you he’s a secret genius!
  • This show would be so much better if they would allow the cast more than two drinks an hour; you know Tia would have been schwasted this season!

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  • COLTON TURNING DOWN A DATE = LESS TV TIME FOR HIM?! Didn’t see that one coming!
  • Ughhhhh … get Colton & Tia off my screen … it’s the same thing over & over & over!
  • I’m so bored; seriously Tia, just grab Colton, lock yourselves in a room, and take his V card already; that would entertain me!
  • SWITCHING GEARS … I love Kenny!

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  • Oh, Annaliese, stop talking.
  • Chris and Krystal … ?? Villain loving villain ???
  • UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Tia and Colton again!!

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  • Why is ABC making it seem like Cinderella and Prince Charming are finally getting together? Like they did a freaking montage right now of the two of them … ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

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  • For all that is good with this show, someone give Bibi a rose tonight!
  • JORDAN FOR PRESIDENT!!!!!!!
  • Here for Joe & Kendall, Kevin & Astrid, and Eric & Angela
  • The Jordan/David feud is dumb; I’m over it and I maaaay be over Paradise, help me not be … ??? Guys, I’m shutting it off for the night!

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Let me know what I missed & if I should watch tomorrow! Image result for lips