Where has My Hollywood Hangover been?
Today’s post is going to be a little different; no celeb gossip or housewife drama to discuss. Instead, we’re getting a little personal together, and I’m going to share a bit about myself and my family. I’ve been slacking some on recaps and reviews, in fact, I haven’t really written anything in about a month. Instead I’ve been preparing my body and my home for …
My husband and I have been together for almost ten years and have been married for about five. We survived college together, we’ve lived in small, dingy apartments, we had the best wedding & bought our first home, and we have amazing family and friends; we’re so so blessed and feel like we’ve been through it all.
Two years ago, we decided we wanted to start a family. The timing was right, and we felt we had experienced everything we wanted to share together as a duo; this should be easy!
What was the movie where they discuss french kissing leading to… ? Oh yeah!
Sidebar: If you haven’t see Now and Then, RUN, do not walk to find a copy of it. Pop culture CLASSIC!! (Hmmm, maybe it should be the next Movie of the Week?)
Anyway, that is not how it worked for us. In fact, in our first year of trying, we didn’t get pregnant. Nor did we our second year. Even though it’s becoming less of a taboo topic, no one likes to discuss infertility issues. Family members would ask, “When are we going to expect a little one?” or I would hear horror stories at my job or in the news of children being mistreated by their parents. In those cases I would think to myself, why are people gifted a child if they can’t properly care for one ? Shoot, we even passed a pregnant lady living on the street once, and my husband knew to move me to the other side of the road because he thought I’d get upset … which I did.
And look, it wasn’t her fault and anyone’s fault we were struggling. But the concept of being a woman unable to do what I felt at the time I was put on earth to do was extremely frustrating. Then came the comments of, “Well it will happen when it’s supposed to happen,” or “There is a plan for everyone.” For the people who make those comments, they don’t tend to help. #sorrynotsorry We ended up seeing a specialist and got all the regular tests done. We were told the good news was nothing was wrong (yay!), but the bad news was nothing was wrong (wait, what?), meaning it really would “happen when it’s supposed to happen.”
In November of last year, the hubs and I decided we would try intrauterine insemination, or IUI as it’s known. (Look it up for a more medical definition if that’s your thing). We had all our ducks in a row to start the process, and found out …. we didn’t have to do it! The month we were to try IUI, we ended up getting pregnant!
I have no idea if the stress was lifted because we knew we would be trying a medical intervention, or maybe it just was “the right time” as everyone kept saying. Whatever the case, our miracle baby was conceived, and we knew the next nine months were about to get cray.
My Pregnancy Journey
I wake up (multiple times actually, to pee) everyday and can’t believe this is happening to us. I look in the mirror and don’t think my growing belly is real. I haven’t fully grasped the concept of how drastically my life will change or that a new person, who is half of me, will soon be moving in and not leaving anytime soon. My mind has yet to wrap around it all and may not until he’s here.
KIDDING, KIDDING, KIDDING! But for real, pregnancy is hard ya’ll. Women are warriors, in case you needed that reminder. And, I’ve even had a fairly smooth journey. While I definitely got nauseous, I never actually had true morning sickness. My feet didn’t swell, and the little guy measured perfectly at every checkup.
At the same time, no one really tells you how difficult the journey can be. Here you are, growing a human inside of you. Happy hour with the girls or a few glasses of wine during housewives? Gone. No one tells you that with every toss & turn during sleep, there is pain. No one tells you the amount of pressure you’ll feel, and I don’t even mean the physical pressure of tiny feet pushing on your ribs. How much you work out or the amount of water you drink, or literally anything you eat, can positively or negatively affect the baby (& according to Google it’s probably both). While it’s an absolute joy to feel your baby move inside of you, every day is scary as hell, and in a way I can’t fully explain, you feel like you’re not 100% you anymore.
I don’t mean to say I’m not excited, thrilled, over the freaking MOON to become a mom, but I think it’s okay for women to admit that pregnancy can be really really hard too.
Four Weeks Left
I should be filling my time writing on here, instead of researching birthing stories and falling down into rabbit holes of what could possibly go wrong. But, don’t we all run to the internet, at times we know we shouldn’t, and read articles that make us worry more? I’m trying to do better.
I don’t know what the future holds for my little internet blog; it has been the best two years with this simple hobby of mine. I’ve met many amazing people though the social media accounts linked to this, and have really enjoyed being able to express myself. I plan to continue to write, but I guess we’ll just have to see if the little guy allows for it.
To all the moms out there who have the hardest job on the planet, whether on your own (which I have NO IDEA how you do it) or with a full support team, please remember: moms are real life superheroes the world sometimes forgets exist.
To those with their own sweet babies growing in their bellies: yay you! You’re going to be an incredible mother! I recommend taking classes and learning all you can about the amazing changes your body is going through and will go through. Good luck on your journey!
To those struggling to get pregnant: you are not alone! Research support groups in your area, or find one online. I would say, “Stay positive” but that can be immensely difficult to hear. It’s okay to get angry or discouraged, yell, scream, drink too much wine one night, and be disappointed. Talk to someone and share your feelings; do not keep it all bottled inside. And, don’t give up. It’s not an “if” for you, but a “when.”
To my sweet boy: I can’t wait to meet you and watch you grow, terrified as I am. I hope you love playing sports with your daddy and love watching movies with your mamma. Big things are in store for us all!