Jersey & Dallas Recaps

Hello and welcome!! If you’re curious about my housewives recaps, I’m trying something new (read more here!) Otherwise, let’s begin!

RHONJ: “Cut From A Different Cloth”

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“Horses, beaches, fights.
Jackie versus Dolores.
This one was boring.”

Honestly, I would have preferred to watch the husbands playing poker; that was more entertaining. They were so funny! The Jersey husbands have always been my favorites. However, the show centers on the women, so I guess we must discuss them. I really thought Teresa was going to go off more when she pulled down that sign about 21 year olds; in my notes, I even put “Here comes the Teresa bomb.” Instead the episode focused mostly on Jackie and Dolores. I feel like Jackie needs to let stuff go, but at the same time, she was right when she said the women have a history of really escalating arguments (cue a montage). Other then that, and the mention of clogged toilets & respect, not much went on besides Jennifer falling into an ocean full of s***.

RHOD: “One Fight in Bangkok”

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“LeeAnne, you’re my GIRL,
But sadly, you’re so wrong here.
You think she agrees?”

First, it the was turning of the elephant visit into a drama fest, with her explaining that each elephant is “broken” and that she can relate. I understand LeeAnne had a horrible childhood, but I found myself thinking the same thing as Brandi: LeeAnne tends to make so much of everything about herself. Then, there was LeeAnne’s not wanting to buy a friendship bracelet, when it was simply supposed to be for fun to remember their trip. The “Mexican” comment from last week never came up (because Stephanie Hollman is a saint), but LeeAnne made another offensive comment about Kary (in the taxi ride towards the end of the episode), plus the entire LeeAnne/Kary back & forth was annoying … it was totally because LeeAnne was jealous that Kam was paying attention to Kary. Speaking of Kameron, her whiteboard & Expo marker demonstrations deserve an Emmy!

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Next week looks pretty intense for the Dallas ladies, and unfortunately, LeeAnne still seems to be in the wrong. We’ll see!

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Come back & visit the blog soon!!

Housewives Haiku

Welcome to the first addition of “Housewives Haiku!” If you don’t know what a haiku is, look it up. My goal is to recap the housewives each week in a simple form, with just a few added notes in-between. If you’ve been a fan of MHH, then you know I recently had a baby, (if not you can read about it here and here!!) and I don’t have time for my typical, long-winded recaps (I’m sure they’ll be back from time to time). So hopefully this format allows me to better keep up a bit … because even with my sweet sweet boy, mama needs a break at times, and my girls on Bravo help with that!

First up: RHOA “The Regift That Keeps on Giving”

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Kenya is messy,
yet, I’m so here for the shade!
Cynthia? Girl, bye!

I’m sick of the Cynthia and Nene feud, who cares, it’s happened before. I also feel like, why is Cynthia starting this random friendship with Eva, plus starting in with Kenya (who is supposed to be her close friend), and then also bringing around “I’m that b**** Yovanna” whoever she is …? Everything seems like Cynthia is trying to keep herself relevant for the show … which I guess was what Nene basically said about her, to continue said feud; that Cynthia is looking desperate? That’s not really cool of Nene to say, though because she’s freaking annoying too! Remember her behavior and attitude at last season’s reunion (Rose & Thorn: RHOA Reunion) ?? Eck. If anything, I’m just wanting more Porsha and Kenya friendship, Kandi is interesting to me, so she can have more screen time too; Marlo taking in her nieces and nephews (she was incredible this episode btw), make that a story line, please! But, time to cancel Nene and Miss “Chill”.

Then, RHOC “Wild Wild Key West”

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Never thought I’d say,
OC is so good right now.
Holy! Reunion!

By that, I mean the reunion is going to be cray. Speaking of cray, could you imagine being at that bar at one in the morning, hearing grown women yelling at each other, calling one another sluts?! Could you even more imagine being those guys, driving the little tiki boats, hearing the housewives say the things they said? Screaming, gesturing the way they did; Kelly again calling Vicki a pig? I mean, my dream in life is to witness a housewife fight in person, but if you didn’t know these people?! I can’t imagine what someone would think. As for the fights, I’m not sure whose side I’m on. Kelly gives a low blow, then apologizes, then gives another low blow. But at the same time, the tres amigas aren’t innocent either. I think I’m Team Emily this episode; she had some great one-liners, especially comparing the women to drag queens *cough* Vicki. And speaking of Vicki, a special haiku for her …

Little family van.
Never been with multiples.
I was the one conned.

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Check back for another addition of “Housewives Haiku” in which we’ll recap Jersey & Dallas!

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