“Because she blocked me on Instagram!” RHOC Recap

Orange County is back!

We’re three episodes into the 14th season of Orange County, and I have some thoughts! An orange was taken away from an OG, while a mother of seven has come to entertain …

Shannon

Image result for real housewives of orange county

Fun Shannon is here and she wants everyone to know it!! It’s a teeeeny bit annoying though, like stop trying to make fetch happen. However, I prefer this Shannon over “You will all see the truth!” sad, crying Shannon.

Per the first few episodes, I’m very proud of Shannon for accepting Braunwyn, instead of rejecting her like she’s done with new girls in the past (“I start charities, Meghan!”). I hope her positive attitude lasts the rest of the season. And, while I’m loving, living, HERE FOR a Kelly/Shannon bffriendship, that does not look like it lasts …. hmmm …. !!!
(I blame Tamra🚂)

Gina

Image result for real housewives of orange county gina

Ughhhh, why did Bravo bring her back? What does she add to the show besides a DUI? All I’m really getting from Gina in are Amanda Bynes vibes, with the horrible platinum hair and bad decisions.

However, Gina let us know how we got here on this week’s episode: her husband had an affair and seems to still be seeing the women he cheated with. Clearly Gina didn’t want to reveal any of this on the show, but now it all makes so much sense! This explains why she was so vague about their divorce last season, plus explains why she seems to be struggling so much this year. Ugh, I actually feel really bad for her.

Kelly

Image result for real housewives of orange county

“Pancake titties!”

I’m here for Kelly this season, much as I am every season. She has a new man (currently over), a blossoming friendship with Shannon (also over), and one of the better taglines (at least she gets one win!). Seeing as so much has changed in her relationships since filming, I’m curious to see how the season plays out for her.

I also want to say I think she’s a great mom (the ski trip looked so fun!), and I feel terrible for the DMs her daughter received due to the drama between Kelly and Vicki. #boo

(I just realized I picked horrible pictures of the women … oh well 🤷🏻‍♀️🙃)

Tamra

Image result for real housewives of orange county season 14

New house, same Tamra. We’ve learned Eddie is healthy, and Ryan is a Trump stan, but besides that, what’s really new with Tamra except for her two new staircases and county club membership?

This week (again) not much happened with Tamra, except at the blonde bombshell dinner towards the end of the episode. Tamra yelled out ” train” in regards to a rumor about Kelly. Go on Twitter if you don’t know what this means; I refuse to say. For Tamra (in real time) to not understand “what she did” to Kelly, like, Tamra can’t be that dumb; the proof was at that dinner and what she said regarding Kelly. Honestly I’m very disappointed in Tamra.

Emily

Screenshot 2019-08-18 at 7.10.26 PM

Is Emily the next housewife to follow in the footsteps of so many before her and get divorced? She should because Shane is freaking awful! He had some bad moments last season, but I can’t bear to watch anything regarding him this season! Emily literally threw a dinner for his family and he couldn’t bother to show! Not only that, on the phone he was a complete 🍆 to her!! Perhaps Shane’s getting a bad edit?

I think not though because this week Emily shared the Vegas performance she planned for him, and how he shut that down. I kind of agreed with Gina that Shane wouldn’t be into it, however, at the end of the day, I’m over his studying/horrible attitude/bad edit. I’m needing a new story line for Em.

New Girl

Image result for real housewives of orange county season 14

How has Braunwyn not become an OC housewife sooner?! She may be the first newbie I not only approve of, but am obsessed with! She has the best tagline (“I manage to wrangle a family of nine and still look like a ten”), she fits in well with the women, she stood up to Vicki (but was also willing to apologize!), she is (appears to be) a great mom, and she’s open & honest! I was so surprised by the story she shared with Shannon about all her daughter’s struggles. I’m really here for Braunwyn friendship with Shannon, and learning more about her this season!

Friend Of

Image result for real housewives of orange county season 14

🐷🐷

I can NOT believe the pig video Kelly sent to Vicki! While you should never ever speak on someone’s looks, Vicki took the first shot by throwing out into the universe that Kelly does cocaine. However, the bigger story this season is that Vicki got “demoted” to “friend of”; I’m not quite sure how I feel about this. To me, OC isn’t the OC without the OG, but recently all the OGs have been so annoying & self-centered (Vicki, Nene, Teresa, LVP, Luann), so it’s probably a good lesson to learn: no housewife is safe.

For Vicki, this week’s episode opened with the continued fight between her and Kelly at Tamra’s, basically a replay of the last 10 minutes of last week’s show.

Vicki is tooooo much; she was her classic Vicki self in the way she attempted to “lecture” Braunwynn how to act & think in the group, and at the ladies’ dinner, Vicki continued her messy messy ways, by spreading more lies about Kelly. Vicki said juuuuust enough to cause problems (“What I know is so much worse than doing coke”), then drunk Tamra finished it for her (🚂).

If all these rumors are going to do anything, it will be to provide us with some intense drama in the weeks to come!

I Rewatched Scary Island 🌴👙😈

Recently, Bravo aired season three reruns of The Real Housewives of New York, and I recorded them for a few reasons. First, I knew I would need some shows to watch while hanging out with my new bubba wubba baby boy. Two, as sure as I am that I’ve seen RHONY from the beginning, I can really only recall back to season five (& beyond) with Heather and Kristen and such. Finally, season three brought us Scary Island, and I wanted to analyze the icon that the episode was/is.

I definitely got more than I bargained for!

The early seasons are so crazy to watch because they’re almost 10 years old; the women’s outfits and haircuts (especially Ramona’s!) were so different, and the overall production value was interesting, with the floating gold buildings between scenes.

For more on season 3, click here!

I’ve heard Scary Island referenced everywhere, and I knew most of the quotes & scenes, but watching it in full blew my mind!

Even before the crazy dinner, we got “Turtle Time!” I had no idea it was in the same episode!

Kelly Killorean Bensimon is obviously a Bravo icon, and my earliest memory of her from those past seasons was the running in the streets of New York as a workout. But nothing, I mean nothing I’ve seen of late, on any franchise, could compare to her behavior at that now infamous dinner in the Virgin Islands …

  • (Prior to dinner) she sobbed over the Skinny Girl gift bag Bethenny gave the ladies & called B a “hoebag” …
  • She said she dreamed that Bethenny was going to kill her …
  • She interrupted Ramona’s apology to Bethenny, asking if they were going to make out, only to then tell them to “zip it” …
  • She claimed Alex was channeling the devil when delivering Bethenny’s “message” to Jill …
  • She yelled out, “Al Sharpton!” when Bethenny quoted Jack Nicholson from A Few Good Men (“You can’t handle the truth!”) …
  • And, she just overall made absolutely no freaking sense !!!!

All of which eventually led to ….

I found it very interesting that Kelly wore that purple dress, and the rest were in white or tan, not that I think the purple represented anything, it just made her stand out more alongside her crazy. But seriously, can we get a season with both Kelly and Brandi Glanville, maybe throw in Katie from Potomac too … and we can just watch the insanity fly ???!

The dinner and episode eventually ended with Kelly eating gummy bears and lollipops (?!?!?!?!!!) even though she said she doesn’t eat processed food …

Wow, truly iconic and always to be remembered!

Reality Check!!!

Image result for one week gif

Oh, how much can change in a week!

I missed the Bachelorette finale Monday AND Tuesday.

img_3283

No live Tweets either!

I started a RHONY recap … but have yet to watch part three.

And it’s been over a week … !!!

At this point, my DVR is fuller than my milk ducts. 

Why?

Because … 

 

 

 

 

BABY HOLLYWOOD HANGOVER IS HERE!!

Image result for lion king gif
I’m not writing this to complain that my TV time has been taken away, or that I feel sorry for myself because it’s now breastfeeding over binge watching, or that I will never be able to post about the petty lives of celebrities again. Instead, I’m writing this in reflection (& celebration!!) of my first week as a new mom. Don’t worry, this won’t turn into a mommy blog, and I won’t gush on and on about truly amazing the motherhood experience has been (even though it’s the craziest, best thing I’ve ever done). But, what is it that Thomas Rhett sings? “Life chaaaaanges…” (Any country fans out there?)

I actually started this blog as a hobby to help distract me from the fact we were struggling to get pregnant. Now here we are; he’s here! My schedule doesn’t revolve around Bravo’s anymore, but rather, it revolves around 6 lbs of cuteness; my husband now discusses his favorite diaper brands, rather than the latest baseball scores. Nothing has been taken away though, only gained. I’m so blessed. And yes, I will still obsess over what a privileged, middle-aged woman said about her friends #guiltypleasure …. I just may not get to watch it or blog it as quickly or often as I used to.  And I’m perfectly okay with that!

Image result for new mom happy gif

Plus, Twitter & IG will be stay quite active, so always check in there to see what’s new!

Screenshot 2019-03-14 at 6.21.17 PM

Screenshot 2019-03-14 at 6.20.56 PM

For those missing the blog a bit, I added my notes (or what notes I had pre-labor) from the New York Reunion … see below!


“My lawyer always says anything can happen in a courtroom and anything can happen at a reunion …”

So much to unpack, but I’m glad you’re here!

Part 1:
-Dennis
-Dorinda vs. Lu

Before getting into the main topics of this first part of the reunion, I must say how fabulous all the ladies looked, even Lu with all her Claire accessories she was rocking (I can’t take credit for that joke; saw it on social media!). I thought each dress was unique to each housewife and the colors all went together well ….. unlike another city currently airing it’s reunion.

Okay so part one! The beginning of it focused quite a bit on Bethenny and everything she went through this season, from Dennis’s death to her own near death/allergy attack towards the end of the season. I don’t know if any of the other women on the couches would have been able to contain themselves or keep it as together this season as well as B did, despite everything she went through. Yes, I know she cracked under the pressure at dinner in Miami, but even then she was able to calm herself back down and be reasonable. As far as the reunion, I was happy she shared more into her relationship with Dennis and the dynamics of how it was so back and forth. I think gaining this much insight into what Bethenny went through this season will help viewers understand her feelings more toward Lu’s behavior that essentially will be discussed in further parts of the reunion.

Speaking of Lu, the remainder of the episode focused on Dorinda and Luann’s falling out stemming from last season’s “At least I didn’t get a mugshot!” drama and the Jovani of it all.

Image result for at least i didn't get a mugshot dorinda

“I don’t feel like you have any substance anymore.” 

Image result for at least i didn't get a mugshot dorinda

Even last season, I never really understood where this huuuuge fight between them started. Let’s try. So Dorinda was hurt last year when Luann said “Oh here we go” or something about having another drink while they were on vacation in Cartengena. Then Dorinda made her famous, “At least I don’t have a mugshot” comment. Next, came the fact that Dorinda got Luann all those cabaret dresses (plus supported her in other ways), only to have Luann uninvite John to the show (which got brought up at this reunion, but I just don’t have the patience to discuss; I mean did she or didn’t she? Those texts didn’t solve anything for me). So Dorinda heckled Luann (yes, what she did was heckling), they talked about each other in the press all summer, and that’s where this season picked up??

I guess my summary of it was Dorinda felt she supported Luann, yet Lu wasn’t grateful, and Luann didn’t feel supported by Dorinda. However, the two hugged it out at the reunion, so we’ll see if everything truly is dropped, despite the fact that Andy “dropped” Lu’s new song, “Jovani” right in Dorinda’s lap.

Image result for real housewives of new york reunion season 11

Parts 2 & 3 (Notes):

  • If Tinsley only lives in New York during filing, she doesn’t deserve an apple.
  • Anyone even questioning if Ramona deserves another season is crazy. She deserves every season #millenniums
  • Lu is absolutely, 100% still drinking on the side.
  • Thank you Bravo for explaining Lu was in court a few days after the reunion; I was confused on the timeline.
  • Why are we judging Barbra for her tanner when Dorinda’s spray tan is 50 shades of too much?
  • The viewer question saying Lu’s show was the “spectacle of it all” …….. YAAAASSS!! 🤣🤣
  • “You weren’t disinvited!”
  • “You weren’t invited at all!”
  • “You’re the turnip!”
  • “That’s show business; They’re just jealous; This is the support I get?! Oh my god Lu, you’re an asshole”

AND … THE SHADE OF BRAVO TOASTING WITH VIRGIN MIMOSAS AFTER THAT WAS THE DRINK LU RELAPSED ON! What a way to cap off an amazing season!

 

Weekly Television Roundup

Sit and wait, sit and wait. That’s about all I seem to do these days because it’s any time now that my baby boy could arrive (Oh [Baby] Boy!). However, I have TV to keep me company, so I thought I’d share my thoughts on everything I watched this week.

PS: If you don’t have a baby coming, and you watched all these shows this week simply for enjoyment, zero judgement from me … because baby or not, I’d be right there with you 🙂

Sunday: Real Housewives of Potomac

screenshot-2019-07-17-at-11.20.41-am.png

If you are a Housewife stan and you’re not watching Potomac, ummm what are you thinking? YOU ARE MISSING OUT! These ladies bring it each episode, but this week’s was beyoooooond as news broke that Ashley’s husband sexually assaulted a camera man. I feel bad for Ashley to have to watch this in current time since she just had a baby (last week I think?), and everything in her world should be celebrated right now, not shadowed by this scandal.

As for the other women, Gizelle  was and continues to be so so messy each episode. Even though she’s my favorite, when I think of the drama the ladies have with one another, it’s usually started or prompted by Gizelle. I’m really liking Monique this season. I love her commentary and insight on all the arguments the women have because a) being pregnant, she’s the sober, silent observer & b) she tends to see every side and will tell people when they are right or wrong (cough, Candiace, cough). Robin doesn’t really do anything for me on the show, Karen is old & terrible, and Candiance is the absolute WORST. She’s immature and unreasonable, plus she needs to mind her own business and keep her opinions to herself.

Monday: The Bachelorette

Image result for the bachelorette hannah and luke

It was Fantasy Suites this week for Alabama Hannah, and she had four guys to spend the night with instead of three. I was shocked, shocked I tell you, that Peter was the windmill date (“Know what? We did it a second time”), mainly just because he doesn’t really ooze sex appeal to me. However, he is my overall pick for Hannah; Peter is who I can picture her with the most.

I appreciated that Hannah felt she needed time with Tyler that didn’t revolve around intimacy, and that she didn’t want to have sex with him in the Fantasy Suite; physicality is not an issue for them. But, I don’t think it was necessary for her to make a big speech or a big deal about it at their dinner. Why couldn’t she just tell him that in the privacy of the Fantasy Suite? It was like she had to let America know she wasn’t planning on sleeping with him. Also …

Screenshot 2019-07-18 at 5.29.41 PM

Jed sucks. Girlfriend or not, he sucks. His temper tantrum about being compared to Luke was unnecessary.  Speaking of unnecessary, why he told Hannah he loved her when a) he came on the show with a girlfriend, b) his family seemed surprised he brought Hannah home (for more on this see Take Back Home, Girl: Bachelorette Edition) and c) it seemed like he was using Luke as a way to leave & get back to said girlfriend. Or maybe not. Regardless of it all, Jed sucks.

But, speaking of Luke, his date was NUTS, wasn’t it? It felt like we were watching someone have a true epiphany right before our eyes, as Hannah found the light and realized how horrible Luke was/is. Not only that, I think she finally saw how easily he can manipulate (or attempt to), but also backtrack, so the person he’s talking to is never really sure what he’s trying to say (#gaslighting). Spoilers for next week’s Men Tell All claim it will basically be the reckoning of  Luke, and if you still are not convinced he’s a terrible human being, go check out the Twitter he just got, and how he attacked Hannah on it. Image result for roll eye emoji

Tuesday: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Image result for real housewives of beverly hills reunion 2019

Do you like bon bons?”

So the first part of the Beverly Hills Reunion aired this week, and quite frankly, it was a bit all over the place. First, it started with a flashback to the Season 3 reunion, where Adrienne didn’t show up, and LVP gave her commentary on it, basically saying it was cowardly and wrong for Adrienne to not be there. HA! The hypocrisy of it all! While there was bit more on Vanderpump’s absence, the focus then shifted to Denise, her joining the show, and her life. I really like her, although I’d like to see her get a bit more feisty (which it looks like she might with Camille).

Speaking of Camille, she arrived to the reunion couch next. I think we’ll get more into the drama with her in the next two weeks (is it two or three parts?). The episode ended with the Lucy Lucy Apple Juice drama, and how Teddi got involved or was involved in it. Even though we’re all so sick of discussing this, I felt it was important to hear how Teddi was pulled in from the beginning. I had no idea it was because Dorit didn’t invite her to dinner after last year’s reunion (that was the reason right?). Regardless, Teddi’s feet were really held to the fire about how, yes, she was involved, and it was mainly Andy interrogating her. This will continue more next week I’m sure!

Wednesday: Southern Charm

Image result for southern charm colorado trip   Image result for southern charm colorado trip

Colorado, here they come! While I enjoyed watching this week’s Southern Charm, it was also a little boring at the same time. I mostly am just ready for the reunion because I want everyone held accountable for their actions this season, with footage to back it up. What am I talking about? Well I want Whitney to have to answer for hooking up with Kathryn and then blatantly denying it. I want Craig to have to answer for all his crazy outbursts. I want Austen to have to answer for cheating on Madison (did he actually have a threesome in that ridiculously repeated video?? “MADISON!!”) and where they currently stand today. Finally, I want Cameran to have to answer for all her motherhood comments. As for this week’s episode, it was fine, mostly just them traveling. I’m excited to see more of their actual trip!

Thursday: RHONY Reunion

Image result for real housewives of new york reunion season 11

I plan to recap the reunion in its entirety on a separate post, so you’ll just have to be a bit more patient on this one! However, part two did not disappoint!

In addition: Stranger Things & Younger

My husband and I finished binging the third season of Stranger Things this week. I won’t get too much into into because I don’t want to give away spoilers, but the ending absolutely wrecked me; I admit, I bawled my eyes out.

In my opinion, the season as a whole was the best yet. It was scarier, yet more intriguing, and the scenes between Steve, Robin, Dustin, and Erica were my favorite!

Image result for stranger things season 3

I’m also currently trying to get caught up on Younger. Anyone watch? I won’t dive too much into it either (so if you don’t watch you can skip this section), but currently I’m in the middle of season five. First off, Direct TV and TV Land need to figure their shiz out because I can’t pull up the episodes on Demand, so I have to watch on my leeetle phone screen (#firstworldproblems). Liza needs to figure some things out as well. While I was always rooting for her and Charles, now that he knows her secret, he’s being a little butthead about it, so I just want Liza to quit Emperical, marry Josh, give him the baby he wants, plus deserves, and just live her best life with him! Also, Hillary Duff is the true queen of this show and the main reason I watch!

Image result for younger season 5

Well I think that’s it!! Whew, we made it! See you all next week with a RHONY Reunion recap, a Queer Eye binge, and hopefully a baby!!

Thank you television, social media, and my husband for keeping me sane these last few weeks before Hollywood Hangover Baby arrives!

 

 

RHOBH Finale (Season 9)

HOLY CAMILLE DONATACCI GRAMMER MEYER!Image result for rhobh finale

Did she come out guns a blazing during the Beverly Hills finale or what? I mean, it really was the Camille show the entire time (or at least it felt like it). She worked haaaaard during that final party to nab some reunion airtime, which I’m sure she hopes will lead to some full airtime next season.

Speaking of casting (I promise we’ll discuss the episode), since Beverly Hills is coming to a close, we must discuss it in whole. It was definitely not my favorite BH season (Twitter hated it) and I think one of the ways to salvage it is with a huge recast. In my perfect world, Kyle, Dorit, Rinna, and Denise stay … even though I think Denise is boring, I’d like to see her another season. I’d swap Teddi out for Brandi, LVP out for Kim, and swap Camille and Erika. Have Camille be full time and have Erika be a “friend of.” I love love LOVE Erika, but she too, is a bit boring.

Other names that have been thrown around in the press to join the cast include Chrissy Tiegen (who I think would bring the fun & crazy, but not the drama), Kathy Hilton (we’ve already had a sibling of Kyle’s once; we don’t need to try again), and Nicollette Sheridan (who is my #1 pick as a newbie because she already caused a stir this season a bit with Lisa Rinna).

But back to Camille. I don’t fully understand all of her behavior on the finale because at Kyle’s party, she walked in and immediately started yelling . And then just kept yelling.

Image result for rhobh finale                                                                 “SHUT IT DOWN!”

Can we chat with you?”
–“
NO!!”

“Let’s figure out who the mean girl really is!”

Yet … at the end of the night, she hugged Lisa Rinna (after calling her a mean girl & screaming in her face), apologized to Dorit in a somewhat sincere manner (after never really having anything nice to say about her all season), and got into a arguing match with Denise (when Denise had her back almost the entire time).  Camille’s behavior was so wishy-washy confusing, it had to be orchestrated. But, if so, then the old Camille is back and we’ll keep her around to spice things up a bit.

Image result for rhobh finale garden partySIX MONTHS LATER

While the six months later black screen was a bit dramatic, I really loved the garden party Kyle had with all the ladies. First, their looks were absolutely FABULOUS, and bright, and gardeny, and perfect. Second, I thought it was funny how Rinna and Kyle both had LVP run-in stories, especially Rinna’s: she offered LVP money. THEN Erika said something about it being 2019 & why did LVP have wet nails? Honestly, so true!

It was a bit annoying that even on episode 21 everyone was stillllllllllllllllllll talking about the Lisa Vanderpump scandal, and even Bravo contributed by airing her stupid Las Vegas restaurant opening.

Screenshot 2019-07-10 at 5.11.18 PM

I’m sure she’ll be a focus on the reunion. For now, or as the show ended, the core six seem to be on good terms (which may or may not make for a good reunion), LVP is off the show (so hopefully puppy gate is no longer mentioned in future seasons), and we’ll see if or if not a cast shake up occurs! The trailer for the RHOBH reunion is below!

Quotable RHONY: 11×10

The housewives in New York City are out of control and I have the quotes and the countdown to prove it.

Cringest Quotes

1. Luann

Image result for luann de lesseps season 11

“What, is Bethenny going to go home and watch her daughter sleep? Because, it’s Halloween; it’s 11:00 at night. I mean, isn’t the kid sleeping?”

You. Ungrateful. Peasant. I can’t even with Luann right now! How DARE she say that about Bethenny?! First, you make B come out on a night she even has her daughter with her, second, you don’t come down to see the ladies or invite them up to see you before the show, and last, you don’t start your performance on time! I’m sure I’ll hear something like, “She started 9 minutes late! Bethenny couldn’t stay?” I don’t have children yet, but I’m fairly certain if you have to relieve your babysitter, than you have to go.

I thought the Luann “too big for her britches cabaret star”  story line was just to spruce up the season, but it’s very much true that she’s really feeling herself right now on the show. From not wanting the fish room, to talking shiz about Bethenny in the salon, to this. Get over yourself Countess!

Image result for luann bethenny bethenny bethenny gif

I suppose her reckoning is coming though, if you watched the mid-season trailer or if you’ve read recently headlines claiming she can’t stay sober. I should probably cut her some slack because she has an uphill climb, but that also doesn’t excuse her insensitive comments so far this season.

2. Tinsley

Image result for tinsley mortimer clown

“I figure if you’re going to lose it, and be so hysterical and emotional, you might as well do it looking like a clown, with a big bow on your head and like, pink cheeks.”

Yes, Tinsley, we can all see the big bow and the pink cheeks you’re wearing; you don’t have to remind us every episode. And quit acting like you were all embarrassed by your costume; you know you loved it.

Yay you for getting back into society … if getting back into society is having the Big Apple Circus announce your name and give you one line to say. Yay you for being strong and ending things with Scott … if being strong about it is getting drunk and hysterically crying over him. Yay you for having such a strong relationship with your mother … if having a strong relationship is relying on her like a child.

I know I know, I’m going hard on Tinsley too, and I do realize all she wants is a family. But, why does that have to define her? Why can’t she be strong on her own or put herself out there to meet the man of her dreams? Or heck, pull an Andy Cohen and get a baby before you get a man!? My annoyance with Tinsley comes from the fact that I just want to shake her, remind her how great her life is, and tell her to grow the F up!

3. Ramona

Image result for real housewives of new york season 11 dorinda

“I have lots of friends, so everyone can’t be invited; I’m sorry!”

As if her social climbing attempts that were caught on film this season haven’t been enough, plus the fact that she wants all these people to throw her birthday parties, Ramona helped create one of the most uncomfortable speeches in housewives’ history. THEN she had the audacity to blame it on Dorinda and Sonja (personally it was all three of their faults, but I like to put the majority of the blame on Ramona).

“Hello! You’re the one who reached me! [wtf does that even mean?!] I’m hosting and I invited you to co-chair, like why are you interrupting my speech? After I talk, then you talk.”

Riiiiight Ramona, because you’re the only one who ever has anything important to say.

4. Dorinda

Image result for real housewives of new york season 11 dorinda

“There you go. Important. Important. Don’t ever do that to me again. Don’t ever …”

I don’t necessarily judge Dorinda for her comments this week; she’s said much worse in the past. But, she was a part of that whole speech fiasco and she did interrupt Ramona (which she has a tendency to do), thus she made the list … if only because she contributed to us viewers having to watch part of the episode with one eye shut due to the awkwardness of it all.

However … not everything the women said this week was terrible because the ….

Greatest Quote Goes to

Sonja

Screenshot 2019-05-11 at 12.00.53 PM

“The best thing that Luann could do right now is do what every other diva does; they just say ‘I didn’t mean to miss you all. I couldn’t find you.’ Don’t be defensive! That’s not the answer! You needed to come over and kiss our rings …… we’re divas too!” 

While she may have been unhinged a few week’s back with the “f***ing Morgan letters!!” Sonja is more and more becoming the voice of reason for all the ladies. Plus, she calls out each of her friends when they are wrong. She stood up for Bethenny when Luann was trying to shame her for leaving the performance early, and she called out Ramona for her birthday party comments, her actions toward Harry, & the entire Birdie/Bridie fiasco. Sonja wins this week for me!

Honorable Mention:
Bethenny

Screenshot 2019-05-11 at 12.16.43 PM

I realize Bethenny was also in this episode, but mainly it was her running to and from events, so I don’t have any specific quotes to shame or applaud her for. I’m quite sure she had some great comments in her interviews (as she always always does), plus it looks like next week she starts to come for Luann, which I’m ready for, but nothing too memorable this week for me to mention. Well, except for this …

Image result for real housewives of new york shalloween

Thumbs up or down?

Rose & Thorn: RHOA Reunion

First, let me apologize that this is coming so late in the week when the final part of the reunion was last Sunday. But you know what else airs on Sundays? Game of Freaking Thrones, so that’s been consuming the blog lately! You can catch up if you need to …

“We’re All Going to Die, But At Least We Die Together” GOT Recap 8×2
“You’re the True King” GOT 8×1
Game of Thrones is Back!! … almost

However, we are here to discuss the ladies of Atlanta and mainly the Season 11 reunion. I first thought I’d recap it (but you all watched). Then I thought I’d just share some overall thoughts (but my thoughts were a jumbled mess). Instead I decided to give my rose and thorn of this reunion; I’m curious to see if you all agree!

Image result for every rose has its thorn gif

Reunion Rose: Porsha Williams

Image result for atlanta housewives reunion 2019

First, she was best dressed! Her baby bump brought the entire look together, but those earrings and her hair?? Flaw- less! Two, RHOA has officially become Porsha’s show. If you disagree, how? Take out this season entirely (because she’s a new person this season), and in the past it’s always been Porsha to bring the funny and the fighting.

Image result for porsha drags kenya gif

While the Kenya hair pull is iconic, she’s no longer that woman. This season Porsha was nothing, if not the voice of reason, especially at the reunion. Maybe it was impending motherhood? Maybe it was her sobriety? Maybe it’s her new man and the fact that she’s now truly happy? Whatever it is, I thought she was on the right side of every single argument. I loved how she squashed her beef with Kandi and also stood up to Nene, but did so in a very mature way. “That shit was hurtful,” she said regarding how the women were really trying to be there for Nene this season, yet Nene completely wrote them off as friends.

I’m telling you, Porsha is going to be soon become to face of the Atlanta Housewives!

Reunion Thorn: Nene Leakes

Image result for atlanta housewives reunion 2019

I’m going to try very hard to not turn this into one big rant against Nene, but it’s going to be tough.

“I’m the real G!”

“Kandi’s not important”

And something else about how hard some women have to work to keep their peaches. At this point, Nene has reached OG crazy level where she thinks the entire show 100% revolves around her and wouldn’t be able to continue without her. LVP has shown this attitude for years, by never apologizing or never admitting when she’s wrong. Vicki proves this each season when she’s terrible to the new girls and always refers to RHOC as “her show.” Teresa was over the top about it on the last Jersey reunion, completely shunning Melissa for not taking her side and stating that any woman no longer on the show was because of her, meaning Teresa had a say in their departures.

Being an original cast member does not maketh the entire show ladies. Nene had SUCH a smug look on her face the whole reunion that at one point even Andy asked her, “What’s wrong?” in an extremely fed up tone.

I get she’s under an unimaginable amount of pressure because of her husband’s cancer, plus she feels very betrayed by her close friends (or friend* … Cynthia), buuuuut none of that gives her the right to think she’s better than anyone else on the show or to sit smugly on the couch for the entire three part, all day, reunion.

Closing Thoughts

If you think I chose these two ladies as my rose and thorn because they got the seats next to Andy, you’re wrong. But, obviously I’m completely in tune with Bravo.

Image result for thank you gif

I was very proud of Cynthia for standing her ground against Nene because she rarely does stand up for herself. It was so dumb that the last five minutes of the entire season was a majority of the basis for the reunion, but whateverrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. In fact, out in the Twittersville, rumor is Kenya is going to come back, which means Cynthia has an ally now going into next season and going up against Nene. #TeamKenthia all the way!

And finally, the shady boot definitely needs to go to Mr. Andy Cohen. I wish I would have written down some of the questions he asked as I watched, but it seemed like if one housewife was discussing an issue with another housewife, he immediately went to that person to get their thoughts, but he always worded it to sound … not the most genuine! Buuuut, according to him …

Image result for andy cohen gif read

… and he gets better and better at it each reunion!

Weekly Bravo Recap

First Up: The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Image result for real housewives of atlanta season 11 finale

Kenya comes back for one episode and stirs up a ton of drama?? Bring her back full time!! But before we get into the Kenya of it all, Porsha’s gender reveal party took place.  Between her awful hair and the fact that the set up was a disaster, it’s no wonder Porsha broke down. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a housewife event as busted as that one. And the poppers didn’t even work either; hers was blue, while everyone else’s was pink! HAHAHA! Sheesh … oh well, it looked like the party ended up being really fun. Congrats to Porsha and Dennis on their baby girl!

But now let’s get to the meat and potatoes of this finale: the return of  Kenya Moore.

Screenshot 2019-03-31 at 7.34.36 PM

First, I love love love Cynthia, but the demographic of people drinking Seagrams (college girls) are probs not watching Bravo. I know this because I interviewed one a while ago: Interview with a Gen Z. Seagrams is also just gross, and as the women brought up, contains like no alcohol. However, if Cynthia partnering with Seagrams brings back Kenya and causes drama, I’m here for it.

I kind of see how Cynthia wouldn’t tell Nene that Kenya was attending her event because we all know how Nene would react. In fact, Nene probably would have stayed home. While it was strange for Kenya to get up front and center on the mic to make a toast, it seemed like everyone (*ahem* Porsha) but Nene was fine with her there.

It looks likes Nene’s issue with Kenya’s attendance wasn’t ending, it was exploding, seeing as the finale was extended 15 extra minutes, so Nene and Cynthia could have it out. Hearing the audio that Cynthia and Kandi were “on the same page” about not knowing Kenya was coming means they knew she was coming, or was it that they needed to be on the “same page” about the possibility of her coming? Regardless, go look at Nene’s social media; she had some words to say about her and Cynthia’s friendship. Here’s to looking so forward to next Sunday; be sure to stay turned for my recap of the Atlanta reunion once it’s aired entirely!

Next: Vanderpump Rules

Image result for vanderpump rules season 7 mexico

“Puke and rally, puke puke and rally!” Gah, is there anything better than a Vanderpump vacation to Mexico? Being pregnant and 30, I’ve forgotten what a s***show one can become when drunk … let’s examine, shall we?

Type A: Stassi — the drunk in which the world revolves around you, no one can tell you no, and where maybe you don’t want to get up and dance because you’re wearing a freaking maxi dress with Spanx (or you’re just too drunk).

Type B: Ariana — the type of drunk where you are making absolutely no sense to anyone around you, yet, in your brain you’re freaking Albert Einstein.

Type C: Beau — aka the crier. That scene with Stassi and him discussing their “issues” and how their pasts (well mainly Stassi’s past) affects their relationship …. at one point, my husband turned it me and said, “Oh my goshhhh their so drunk.”

Image result for vanderpump rules season 7 mexico

Most notable moments from the episode included: the fomo infomercial, Jax giving Stassi actual, solid advice, and everyone just getting along. If I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again … I could watch an entire season, sans drama, of just the group getting along. I love their crazy ass friendships, and I am waiting for the adoption papers to be signed so I can join!

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Image result for kyle and lisa fight season 9

Am I the only one a little underwhelmed by the LVP/Kyle fight? Except for Kyle being honest/standing up to Lisa for once, and Lisa raising her voice more than normal, nothing really shocked me. That came at the end though, back to the beginning of the episode.

We’re on episode EIGHT of this season and yet we’re still discussing this Vanderpump dog issue: the opening scene was at the shelter, Teddi’s charity cycle event was to raise money for the shelter, we needed to know who leaked the story about Dorit’s dog from the shelter, let’s watch CNN at the shelter!

Image result for taylor armstrong enough gif

However, “real friends show up” and that means go to lunch together after a cycle class. Who would have ever guessed that Denise would be the voice of reason in this whole saga, first questioning why LVP couldn’t make both events that day, then being the first person to ask Kyle if she’s ever known Lisa to leak a story to the press, and finally giving Dorit a press peptalk … a “presstalk!” At the same time, I enjoyed seeing the women band together against LVP (although I was totes shocked when Rinna called her “Lisa Vandertrump” later on in the episode, for realsies #notcool).

I felt like the entire episode went by so fast, and before I knew it I had ten minutes left to watch Kyle and Lisa argue. My only real thought watching was why would Lisa and Ken get beyond defensive if they did nothing wrong? I can see how Lisa would be hurt because the one person who always defends her is now questioning her, but after Adrienne and the surrogate, Camille and Taylor’s husband, Brandi and the suitcase magazines, Yolanda and the Munchhausen,  to this … what is Kyle supposed to think? When does Kyle actually get to probe Lisa? The time is now my friends, and I can’t wait to watch it all unfold in the next coming weeks!

Lastly: The Real Housewives of New York

… which, I decided to just watch as a fan this week, instead of blog. I promise to write a RHONY post soon, perhaps the Berkshires next week? For now, I am #TeamBrunette & #TeamSonjaMorgan so far this season!

Image result for real housewives of new york season 11

Keep following for more Bravo related content, celeb content, reality TV content, and more!!

“She Just Set You All Up” #RHOBH Recap

“Grief is a process nobody teaches you …” 

I’m trying really hard to have that be the theme of my post today, but all I can keep thinking is …

Image result for sniper from the side gif

Before we get into the Lucy Lucy Apple Juice (wtf) of it all, let’s start at the beginning of Season 9. It opened with a horrendous fight between Kyle and Lisa (and Ken). Honestly, I hate when Bravo does this because it lasts less than a minute, then switches to what, two months prior and Teddi’s new home? Ugh. Just start from Teddi’s house; why get me all worked up and excited for a blow up in the first place, to then take it away from me before it’s over?

I had originally planned to blog the premier episode, but I thought it was overrated and I walked away annoyed. I was annoyed by the Erika/Dorit friendship, I was annoyed watching Rinna work out with her daughters (and goats), I was annoyed Kyle was starting the same fight with Lisa from last year (“You like Dorit more than me”), and I was annoyed that LVP got any personal airtime because she basically has two shows and that’s beyond frustrating for me.

Image result for housewives eye roll gif

Oh, and to top it all off, I am so not here for Denise Richards. Liiiike, what makes you cool enough to be the new housewife, marrying Charlie Sheen? Teddi saying, “#Hashtag Winning” to remind us all of it (as if the ladies don’t discuss it enough) was stupid, and to top it all off Richards can’t even dress correctly to roll with this group. Teddi is the hippie with the laid back style, remember? We don’t need Denise. UGH and if Rinna says one more thing about how she was an actress or how she knew so and so or was friends with so and so …

Image result for housewives eye roll gif

Things are looking up though, which just goes to show you should never judge a housewives’ season based off the premier! While episode two was also a bit boring, in real life it brought us a Twitter feud we didn’t know we needed between Rinna, Harry Hamlin, and Nicolette Sheridan.

Screenshot 2019-02-27 at 5.36.16 PM

Apparently, (which Rinna blabbed on the show) Nicolette Sheridan was married to Harry, went to a Michael Bolton concert one night, and that was the end of their marriage. Sheridan went to Twitter to say that wasn’t true.

Screenshot 2019-02-27 at 5.38.34 PM

As Lisa was telling the story, the other women were all …

Image result for lisa rinna cheers to michael bolton quote

yet Rinna was all …

Image result for lisa rinna cheers to michael bolton quote

“Cheers to Michael Bolton”

Anything to stay relevant is Rinna’s way. Moving right along … let’s get to the Bahamas!

Image result for real housewives of beverly hills bahamas

To recover from her robbery, (anyone else not know she was robbed?) Dorit planned an early in the season trip for the women. If you follow my posts, you know I love me a good housewives’ trip and this one was no exception. Finally, the ladies came to provide some entertainment and many of my thoughts from the first episode shifted: Dorit isn’t that bad, the show is clearly not overrated, and LVP may still deserve sympathy for her brother’s death, but this season she is messy as hell.

I thought the Dog Gate of Season 9 was over and done with, but is any issue ever really solved with these ladies? It was so obvious LVP was pissed at Dorit because she could not stop making digs at her. I counted five during this episode (Not to mention how utterly ridiculous LVP was to Erika regarding the sympathy note … I can’t and I shan’t! #toaster … but for real, I’m not even getting into that because it was insanely dumb).

Image result for erika jayne eye roll

I find it so so so SO hard to believe that Rinna didn’t know about the dog drama, but once she did know, man did she tell all she knew: “Guess who came to the table to play?”

Image result for guilty as charged gif

Once that dinner started, it couldn’t be stopped. I loved how Denise had no idea what was going on and Camille did her best to explain. I could go into it all, but I think the ladies said it best:

I had nothing to do with any of it.”

                              “It wouldn’t be out there if you didn’t want it out there.”

“She’s acting like she’s so confused why Dorit’s upset.”

                              “I would love to say I’m shocked, but I’m not.”

“I love Lisa, but that doesn’t mean I’m blind.”

Image result for housewives eye roll gif

Again, I want to have sympathy for LVP because she’s going through an extremely hard time and as Rinana did say, we don’t really learn a proper way to grieve. But, at the end of the day … this was a set up. Guess we’ll find out more next week!

 

New Jersey Reunion: Round 1

Image result for in this corner

Jackie, Melissa, Margaret

Image result for in this corner gif

Teresa, Dolores, Jennifer

Image result for let's get ready to rumble gif

Who will come out on top?

Teresa

Image result for teresa giudice season 9 reunion

I was suuuuuper shocked that the first question right out of the gate was to Tre about Joe being deported. However, in classic Andy fashion, he told us we’d get into it all later, aka part three of the reunion.

What we didn’t have to wait for was Teresa going after Jackie. Teresa definitely made her point that Jackie wasn’t allowed to come for her because if you’re not with Teresa, (or “on the Teresa show”) then you’re against her. Tre drove this home be saying something about looking around the room, noticing that anyone who ever attacked Teresa was gone and off the show.

Margaret

Image result for margaret josephs season 9 reunion

looked amazing, absolutely amazing! Her face, shoes, dress, earrings, EVERYTHING was “on point.”  Plus when going up against Jennifer (again), Margaret handed herself well. Girl earned her seat next to Andy.

Melissa

Image result for melissa gorga season 9 reunion

can never do anything right, yet I agree with Jackie that Melissa has become the number one girl in this group (referring to when Jackie called her the Carrie). I think some of the other women can’t handle this … or maybe just one woman. I couldn’t believe Teresa said Melissa needed to be on the other couch, in referencing alliances. No longer am I confused about why Melissa is in so much trouble with Teresa at the reunion. Melissa didn’t agree with Tre on certain issues this season and in the end, it’s looking as if Melissa sided with those “against Teresa.”

Also, did Melissa call Teresa irrational??

Jennifer

Image result for melissa gorga season 9 reunion

After hating Jennifer in the beginning of the season, to growing to like her by the finale, she was able to make me go back to hating her in just the first ten minutes of the reunion. She sounded so dumb talking about Oklahoma. Just because you’re a city person doesn’t mean you can hate hate hate on how or where others live. We already went through this already with Vicki Gunvalson.

Image result for vicki gunvalson oklahoma gif

Speaking of hate, or maybe more of a dislike, I was shocked that Margaret v. Jennifer would be brought up so soon.  After reaching what I thought was a reasonable bit of closure to their disagreements during the season, at the reunion Jennifer went and called Marge Senior a “homewrecker.” Damn girl, say whatever you want about Margaret, but it’s an extremely low blow when you go insulting someone’s mother. Perhaps it even shows the kind of person you are …

Jackie

Screenshot 2019-02-20 at 5.30.43 PM

“Took on Teresa and lived to tell about it.”

I will admit that after the picture of Jackie at Teresa’s book signing came out, it was hard for me to look at her the same way I had since the start of the season. I really liked Jackie from day one, but that picture made my thoughts shift to her having a possible agenda being on the show, a “I want to be famous” agenda. But stalker (??) I’m not so sure. Then again, maybe Jackie wants to be forever known as the one who took Teresa down … ???

Dolores

Screenshot 2019-02-20 at 5.24.40 PM

I COMPLETELY forgot that Andy was the one to spill the beans to Dolores about Frank being disbarred. However, I ship Frelores hardcore. Based off what she said on the reunion though, she seems pretty serious about her boyfriend, David. Buuuut, I predict that on the next season Frank will be around just as often as he’s always been. 

Still to come

I’ll be back to recap once parts two & three have aired. I’m looking forward to hearing Joe’s thoughts on the Melissa/Teresa feud, plus the Danielle of it all! Until next time, don’t lose your mind, don’t flip any tables, and keep your lip liner tight like a baboon!

Image result for jackie goldschneider season 9 reunion