55 Thoughts From the Bachelorette Premiere

Bachelorette is back!!

 … and this time it’s Hannah’s turn to find love!

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I decided that instead of recapping the premiere episode, I’d just keep track of my thoughts as they came to me while watching! Enjoy below and come find me on social media to share your thoughts too!

  • Omg I freaking love her!
  • I cried during ATFR when they showed Chris Harrison calling her and I’m crying this time too!
  • Ohh no! Not that awkward Colton toast again!
  • It may be silly, but I don’t think I’ve been this excited to watch the lead, rather than meet the “contestants.”  I’m PUMPED to see Hannah’s journey!

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  • Okay. The men. Hometown clips first.
  • This Tyler kid is cute … but um, not the best dancer …
  • THE PILOT IS CUTE!
  • It’s a no for me on the box guy, but undecided on the guy who loves his great grandmother.
  • Yes on the cute farm boy … no on the corporate man
  • Why do they keep calling her “The Bachelorette?!” Call her Hannah!
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Cue the limo intros! It’s looking like she has some hotties!! (These pictures did not do them justice!)

  • She looks amazing in that silver sequined dress!!
  • Garrett: very handsome, don’t love his hair
  • Mike: like the skinny red tie, however, I wouldn’t be able to remember all those, ahem, “C words!”
  • Jed: Cute! “I can’t wait to get to know your heart!”
  • Tyler C: he was from the beginning … the dancer, right? Umm … maybe I jumped the gun too early on him; not digging it
  • Dylan: don’t like the white jacket
  • Connor S: fence jumper … um no; too much cheese
  • Devin: suuuper cute! Ugh, the virgin comment, not here for it
  • John Paul Jones: no no no no no no no no NO!
  • Then comes giggle guy, tongue tied guy, other guys I missed because I was looking on Twitter
  •  Joe is the box guy, excuse me, “Box King” –> the WORST so far!
  • I LOVE to watch the guys inside the mansion judge the others as they arrive!

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  • Luke coming in with some douchy line; he was the one who found God in the shower, right? … your douchy line just proves you probs haven’t changed much my man.
  • I’m trying not to like Cam, but I’m smiling during his limo exit …
  • The others are calling Cam “Mr. Rose” … uh oh, villain vibes??
  • Matt Donald: so so so so so cute!! Standing out, but not in a cheesy way!
  • Wait, so there are two pilots? That’s not the same guy from before?
  • Ohhh there is the cute pilot! What’s his name again?
  • Rachel’s commercial!
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Go girl! Make that Zyrtec $$!!

  • Annnd we’re back! Hannah’s saying a prayer! Awe! She’s so wonderful … oh and her speech is great too!

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  • Here come the one-on-ones …
  • Ugh, I don’t want to like this Luke guy … but I do. Please be honest about your niece and actually wanting a wife; don’t just be giving Hannah a line!
  • Mike Jones: “Tell me more about that!” Awww he’s pretty awesome; hitting the real, real topics; please don’t be playing her either!
  • These games are stupid; I prefer the actual conversations!
  • The rapper with the rose is reeeeally feeling himself, but I’m glad he was a gentleman and asked if he could kiss her.
  • Okay … the singer can get! it! Jed? Jud? Jude?
  • So thaaaat’s why Demi is here! Glad she’s looking out for our girl!

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  • Whew! I was really worried the hot pilot had the gf! I predict now that he’s going to go far!
  • How does Demi know this is the guy?
  • Oh, because he’s a TOTAL DOUCHE!!
  • Wait, why would his girlfriend allow him to go on the show in the first place?!
  • Hannah Beast is about to be released!

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  • Her snarkiness is exactly how I would handle this too!
  • Eat him alive Hannah!!
  • Whoa whoa whoa … he’s comparing having a girlfriend to her dating Colton months back?! DOUCHEEEE!
  • Hannah ain’t here to play!!
  • Neither is Luke; he’s going in for a round two!
  • Wait, who is that guy?! Missed limo scene alert.
  • Connor S. is kind of cute; I think I remember him from the ATFR?
  • First Impression: Luke. We all know the track record with the Bachelorettes and the men they pick for the First Impression Rose; he better not be playing her!
  • Eeek whoa …. Luke. Down boy with that make out sesh!
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Time for the Rose Ceremony!

  •  Some stay & some go … all I care is THAT SHE SENT FARMER MATT DONALD HOME!!!! He’s the new Grocery Store Joe for sure!! Hopefully justice is served for him in Paradise!
  • Although … I am happy the box guy went home and the non-cute pilot left too!
  • Hahaha it’s morning as they walk out.
  • “To adventures!!”

Thanks for sticking out the two hour premiere with me! 

Follow me on IG & Twitter as we all track Hannah’s journey to find love!

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Quotable RHONY: 11×10

The housewives in New York City are out of control and I have the quotes and the countdown to prove it.

Cringest Quotes

1. Luann

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“What, is Bethenny going to go home and watch her daughter sleep? Because, it’s Halloween; it’s 11:00 at night. I mean, isn’t the kid sleeping?”

You. Ungrateful. Peasant. I can’t even with Luann right now! How DARE she say that about Bethenny?! First, you make B come out on a night she even has her daughter with her, second, you don’t come down to see the ladies or invite them up to see you before the show, and last, you don’t start your performance on time! I’m sure I’ll hear something like, “She started 9 minutes late! Bethenny couldn’t stay?” I don’t have children yet, but I’m fairly certain if you have to relieve your babysitter, than you have to go.

I thought the Luann “too big for her britches cabaret star”  story line was just to spruce up the season, but it’s very much true that she’s really feeling herself right now on the show. From not wanting the fish room, to talking shiz about Bethenny in the salon, to this. Get over yourself Countess!

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I suppose her reckoning is coming though, if you watched the mid-season trailer or if you’ve read recently headlines claiming she can’t stay sober. I should probably cut her some slack because she has an uphill climb, but that also doesn’t excuse her insensitive comments so far this season.

2. Tinsley

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“I figure if you’re going to lose it, and be so hysterical and emotional, you might as well do it looking like a clown, with a big bow on your head and like, pink cheeks.”

Yes, Tinsley, we can all see the big bow and the pink cheeks you’re wearing; you don’t have to remind us every episode. And quit acting like you were all embarrassed by your costume; you know you loved it.

Yay you for getting back into society … if getting back into society is having the Big Apple Circus announce your name and give you one line to say. Yay you for being strong and ending things with Scott … if being strong about it is getting drunk and hysterically crying over him. Yay you for having such a strong relationship with your mother … if having a strong relationship is relying on her like a child.

I know I know, I’m going hard on Tinsley too, and I do realize all she wants is a family. But, why does that have to define her? Why can’t she be strong on her own or put herself out there to meet the man of her dreams? Or heck, pull an Andy Cohen and get a baby before you get a man!? My annoyance with Tinsley comes from the fact that I just want to shake her, remind her how great her life is, and tell her to grow the F up!

3. Ramona

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“I have lots of friends, so everyone can’t be invited; I’m sorry!”

As if her social climbing attempts that were caught on film this season haven’t been enough, plus the fact that she wants all these people to throw her birthday parties, Ramona helped create one of the most uncomfortable speeches in housewives’ history. THEN she had the audacity to blame it on Dorinda and Sonja (personally it was all three of their faults, but I like to put the majority of the blame on Ramona).

“Hello! You’re the one who reached me! [wtf does that even mean?!] I’m hosting and I invited you to co-chair, like why are you interrupting my speech? After I talk, then you talk.”

Riiiiight Ramona, because you’re the only one who ever has anything important to say.

4. Dorinda

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“There you go. Important. Important. Don’t ever do that to me again. Don’t ever …”

I don’t necessarily judge Dorinda for her comments this week; she’s said much worse in the past. But, she was a part of that whole speech fiasco and she did interrupt Ramona (which she has a tendency to do), thus she made the list … if only because she contributed to us viewers having to watch part of the episode with one eye shut due to the awkwardness of it all.

However … not everything the women said this week was terrible because the ….

Greatest Quote Goes to

Sonja

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“The best thing that Luann could do right now is do what every other diva does; they just say ‘I didn’t mean to miss you all. I couldn’t find you.’ Don’t be defensive! That’s not the answer! You needed to come over and kiss our rings …… we’re divas too!” 

While she may have been unhinged a few week’s back with the “f***ing Morgan letters!!” Sonja is more and more becoming the voice of reason for all the ladies. Plus, she calls out each of her friends when they are wrong. She stood up for Bethenny when Luann was trying to shame her for leaving the performance early, and she called out Ramona for her birthday party comments, her actions toward Harry, & the entire Birdie/Bridie fiasco. Sonja wins this week for me!

Honorable Mention:
Bethenny

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I realize Bethenny was also in this episode, but mainly it was her running to and from events, so I don’t have any specific quotes to shame or applaud her for. I’m quite sure she had some great comments in her interviews (as she always always does), plus it looks like next week she starts to come for Luann, which I’m ready for, but nothing too memorable this week for me to mention. Well, except for this …

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Thumbs up or down?

“We Don’t Trust Your Queen” GOT Recap 8×4

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  • The episode opened honoring the fallen from the Battle for Winterfell, alongside a beautiful speech by Jon Snow.
  • Know who was not one of the fallen? Ghost!
  • Party in the North!!

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                Gendry is named Lord of Storm’s End
                Podrick, Brienne, Jaime, and Tyrion played a drinking game
                Jon Snow is basically treated like a god!

  • Annnnd Dany didn’t seem to like it*
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Oh ya! Starbucks made a cameo too!!

  • As the party continued, Tormund got more sloshed, and even cried over his longing for Brienne.
  • GENDRY FREAKING PROPOSED TO ARYA!!!*
  • Jaime and Brienne sealed the deal that fans have been waiting for since Season 2!!*
  • Dany pleaded to Jon not to expose the truth about his parents.*
  • And after a fun night of partying, the battle plans to take the Iron Throne from Cersei were underway!

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  • A Stark meeting was held and Jon learned his sisters do not approve of Daenerys or her plan for war. So what does Jon do? Tells them his secret!
  • Winterfell:
    • Jaime will stay there with Brienne and not go fight Cersei.
    • Sir Bronn of the Blackwater arrived, almost killing Jaime and Tyrion …
    • So Tyrion offered Bronn Highgarden in order to live.
    • Gilly and Samwell have also done the deed … because Gilly is pregnant!
    • Sansa opened her big, fat, HUGE mouth, and told Tyrion the truth about Jon, who then turned with his big, fat mouth and told Varys.
  • WTF! A dragon just died!
  • A ship just sank!
  • Missandei is captured!!

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And just like that we’re back to what I would consider a traditional Game of Thrones plot: Tyrion and Varys discussing strategy and who should be the true ruler (as much as it pains me, I agree with Varys), Jaime returning to Cersei (we’ll discuss further in a minute), Daenerys back at square one with no army, and a beheading (RIP Missandei!).

Honestly, I’m not surprised the last three episodes are coming down to the battle for the Iron Throne (2019 hashtag anyone?), because this has been the plot all along … since the days of Ned Stark! For those who said Season 8 should be entirely about defeating the dead, and were upset it took place in only one episode, I disagree. The Night King and the White Walkers returning always felt like a subplot to me; the whole show has been nothing but strategy, “rightful rulers”, slaughter, war, death, and Cersei as the ultimate villain (except for the brief moment when she was shame, shame, shamed!), and that is the way the season will (or should) end (I’m assuming).

Let’s talk specifics …

“Arya, will you marry me?”

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I won’t discuss this scene in much length, but I do need to mention it. How freaking cute was Gendry??? He was so excited that he became a Lord, he ran to his lady, confessed his love, told her she was beautiful, said he wanted her to be beside him as he ruled, and then proposed! SO SWEET! However, I get it, Arya is not a lady and she never has been. She’s an assassin & all around badass. Plus, GOT is not sweet. So as sad as I am that it didn’t work out, I understand why. Speaking of working out …

Jaime & Brienne (part 2)

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After knighting her two weeks ago, to fighting alongside her last week, to ahem, well you know what they did this week, all my hopes and dreams and wishes were coming true for Jaime and Brienne. We all soooo knew once the virgin comment was made by Tyrion during their drinking game, and Brienne stormed off with Jaime following, it was going to happen! And OMG how funny was his “It’s so hot in here” pick up line?! The confident, Kingslayer who takes what he wants from women (okay, mainly his twin sister, barf!) had to use a pick up line in this moment? Regardless, it was sweet. What was even sweeter was he wouldn’t share details about it with Tyrion, plus he wasn’t going to return to Cersei, but rather stay in the North with Brienne.

Until he leaves. However, I’m convinced Jaime is not returning to King’s Landing to be with Cersei, but rather to take her out and redeem himself for being a “bad man.”

(Here is a great article that examines their relationship further: NYPost and a second article that disproves my theory Jaime is off to kill Cersei: Vanity Fair).

Is Daenerys becoming her father?

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It really felt that way to me as I watched Sunday’s episode. However, I think that would be too convenient for the writers to do because it seems like they’re already leading her down that path. You could tell this by a) her resentment at Winterfell when all the men were congratulating & boasting about Jon Snow, b) her begging Jon not to tell anyone the truth about his parents because then all would know he’s the true ruler, not her, and c) thinking she could match Cersei with that tiny army and one dragon.

It doesn’t help that Missandei’s blood is on her hands for making rash battle choices when she was warned to give her army a rest. Granted that advice came from Sansa, who Dany seems to despise, but still. Now tides are shifting because Varys is questioning her sanity too; it’s not just the Starks that don’t trust her decision making. Maybe she does go power hungry and burns the world down? Maybe she tries to kill Jon? I have no idea where the plot surrounding Daenerys can lead because I’m sure to be shocked regardless: sane Dany who backs off I don’t expect, but tyrant Dany I don’t expect either. Here’s to finding out in the next two weeks!

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“Not Today” GOT Recap 8×3

So my usual format on recaps this season has been to highlight the major plot points from each episode, then pick my favorites to discuss a little more in depth. I’m still going to do that (or attempt to do that), but instead of plot points, it’s going to sound more like the thoughts that were running through my head while I watched. Buckle up!

  • The Red Lady showed up out of the dark (somehow getting past the Army of the Dead, I think?) and lit up the Dothraki’s swords. Visual bad-ass-ness!
  • However, that light went out quickly as the entire Dothraki civilization was wiped out in a matter of minutes as they ran towards the enemy. Why they went out on their own? I’ll never understand.
  • Now, not only was I sitting on my couch terrified out of my mind (this isn’t about me, this isn’t about me, this isn’t about me), but it seemed like every remaining fighter and character on the show was just as scared. AND WHY WOULDN’T THEY BE??
  • Then the battle was on! 
  • They’re screwed.
  • They’re screwed.
  • They’re screwed.
  • Dany and Jon rode dragons.
  • They’re screwed.
  • They’re screwed.
  • They’re screwed.
  • Dany and Jon rode dragons some more.
  • The wights got up and over the wall!
  • Now they’re really screwed.
  • Totally screwed
  • So screwed.
  • Dragon fight!
  • “Dracarys”
  • Oh, okay so the Night King can survive dragon fire!
  • And he “woke up” the fallen …

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  • Now they’re really f***ing screwed!
  • The final battle scenes with the music in the background? Theon’s death? Jorah’s last moments? I didn’t cry, you did!
  • HOLY SHIT BALLS ARYA!

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Arya

Clearly we need to start here. Before we even get to the amazingness that was her slaying the Night King, we need to discuss her battle scenes. Her twirling and swirling and stab stab stabing was so awesome to watch! It reminded me of how far she’s come from her training with Syrio and then all her training with the Faceless Men. My favorite of it all was when the wights were coming up the steps and Arya jumped on their backs, only to roll down them and run away. Or at least I thought that was my favorite part until she was in the library. Again, I think it was a callback to her training (how to be invisible), but that scene had all the classic feels of a horror movie where the evil is right around the corner and the protagonist is trying to not be seen. Brilliant.

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Never, ever, ever in my wildest dreams or wildest theories would I have chosen Arya Stark to be the one to kill the Night King. Oh it was so fabulous too because first she flies out of nowhere, only to have him grab her and have the audience think she’s a goner, but she’s no goner … she’s freaking ARYA STARK and when she catches the dagger in her right hand, slaying the Night King and thus his entire army??? I don’t think I’ve ever cheered for a fictional character more IN MY LIFE than I did in that moment.

RIP

Obviously we knew we would have to say goodbye to some, right? However, if my calculations are correct, the list isn’t very long. It includes …

  • Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch (according to Google his name is Dolorous Edd in case you were unsure …)
  • Lyanna Mormont (ughhhh RIP girl, but thanks for taking out the giant!)
  • Lightening Lord (whose name Google told me is Beric Dondarrion in case you forgot that one too)
  • Theon Greyjoy (which yes, was so sad, but did anyone really expect him to make it out alive?)
  • The Red Woman or Melisandre if you will (thanks for the useless fire and for Arya’s pep talk, but overall pffffft! Girl, bye)
  • Sir Jorah (hit me reeeeeeally hard, even though I did prepare myself for it)
  • The Night King

I’ve heard a few rumblings that viewers were upset more characters didn’t die. For sure it seemed like those in the thick of the battle should have been overran: Brienne, Jamie, Podrick (seriously, Podrick lived?), Samwell, and Tormund. The way the wights were charging, only then to rise back up from the dead, I don’t think realistically the aforementioned should have survived.

However, realistically dragons don’t exist either, so if in this world, these characters were meant to live, then they’re meant to live; I’m definitely not upset about it. They’re all my favorites. They just better not die in some really pointless way by Cersei’s army after surviving this battle.

Now What

Um, recover? Seriously, next episode I need them to all sit around a campfire and just talk about how lucky they are to be alive. Let Arya brag about her kill. Bury and honor the fallen brothers and sisters. Speaking of the fallen, how are they going to clean up all the bodies? Ugh, what a mess.

The “next time” looked like everyone is getting ready to go fight Cersei, who in my eyes is now the one, true villain of the show (she outlasted the Night King … ). At first I was all, “The North has no army,” but then my husband reminded me they have two dragons. I suppose Dany and Jon also have to sort out who gets to sit on the Throne once Cersei is defeated (if Cersei is defeated? No, no … once Cersei is defeated).

Regardless of what does happen … I hope everyone, including the viewers, get a moment to breathe because this week’s episode (almost) too much to handle!

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One last thing

Were Tyrion and Sansa going to kill themselves or go fight? Also, do I ship them?? Completely!

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